Some time ago, a member of Parliament applied to the post-office to know why some of his franks had been _charged_. The answer was: “We supposed, sir, they were not of your writing; the _hand_ is not the _same_.” “Why, not _precisely_ the same; but the truth is, I happened to be _a little tipsy_ when I wrote them.” “Then, sir, will you be so good, in future, to write ‘_drunk_’ when you make _free_.” HENRIETTA MARIA. Henrietta, queen of Charles I., when pregnant of her first child, longed very much for some cheese. An attendant expressed surprise at her majesty having an appetite for such coarse meat, and remarked that if the Welshmen heard of it they would take it as a high compliment. “Oh,” said the queen, “content yourself; what do you know but the Prince of Wales may long for it.” A TRUE JOE MILLER. In the time of Joe Miller there was an old deaf player of the name of Cross, who, being very vain, took every pains to conceal his infirmity. Joe, walking along Fleet Street with a friend, saw Cross on the opposite side, and told his acquaintance he should see some fine sport. So beckoning to Cross with his finger, he opened his mouth wide, and began to assume the attitude and gestures of one who bawls very loud to a distant object. Cross, thinking that Miller had hallooed to him, and taking that as too broad a signification of his infirmity, came puffing across the street as hard as he could, and “What the devil,” cried he to Joe, “do you make such a noise for? do you think one cannot hear?” CHARLES MATTHEWS. Matthews being asked what he was going to do with his son (the young man’s profession was to be that of an architect), “Why,” answered the comedian, “he is going to _draw houses_ like his father.” GENEALOGY. James the First, when he came from Scotland to England, stopped at Lumley Castle, which contained some curious portraits of the ancestors of the Lumleys in the habits of their several times. These were shewn to the king, together with a genealogical tree of the ancient pedigree of the family, carrying it far beyond what his majesty thought credible; upon which, he said to the Bishop of Durham, who shewed it, that he “did not know before that Adam’s surname was Lumley?” STOCKS LOW. A wag passing through a country town in the north, observed a fellow placed in the stocks,--“My friend,” said he, “I advise you by all means to sell out.” “I should have no objection, your honour,” he replied drily, “but at present they seem much too low.” HISTORICAL DOUBTS. An auctioneer, at a sale of antiquities, put up a helmet, with the following candid observation:--“This, ladies and gentlemen, is a helmet of Romulus, the Roman Founder; but whether he was a brass or iron founder, I cannot tell.” FEMALE CONSTANCY.