Being asked whether he thought Mr. O’Brien was right in his assertion, that many thousands of the electors of Westminster would vote for the Duke of Northumberland’s porter were he put up, Sheridan coolly replied--“No; my friend O’Brien is wrong; but they might for _Mr. Whitbread’s porter_!” SLAVE TRADE. Sir John Doyle being told in the House of Commons by those interested in keeping up the slave trade, that the slaves were happy, he said that it reminded him of a man whom he had once seen in a warren, sewing up the mouth of a ferret: he remonstrated with the man upon the cruelty of the act, but he answered--“Lord, sir, the ferret _likes it_ above all things.” NEW WAY TO PAY OLD DEBTS. A fire happening at a public house, a man, passing at the time, entreated one of the firemen to play the engine upon a particular door, and backed his request by the bribe of a shilling. The fireman consequently complied, upon which the arch rogue exclaimed--“You’ve done what I never could do, for, egad, you’ve liquidated my score!” BON MOT. A young clergyman, having the _misfortune_ to bury five wives, being in company with a number of ladies, was severely rallied by them upon the circumstance. At last one of them rather impertinently put the question to him, “How he managed to have such good luck?” “Why, madam,” said the other, “I knew they could not _live_ without contradiction, therefore I let them have their own way.” BRUISING MATCH. A provincial paper, giving an account of a bruising match between two men of the names of Hill and Potter, concluded by saying--“That after sixteen rounds, _Hill_ beat his antagonist _hollow_.” SMART RETORT. Lord B---- wore his whiskers extremely large. Curran meeting him, “Pray, my lord,” said he, “when do you intend to reduce your whiskers to the _peace establishment_?” “When you, Mr Curran,” said his lordship, “put your tongue upon the _civil list_.” LODGINGS. A young gentleman seeing a bill on a window announcing lodgings to let, knocked at the door of the house, and was conducted by a pretty girl into the apartments that were to be occupied. The gentleman, struck with the charms of his conductress, said,--“Pray, my dear, are you to be let with this lodging?” “No, sir,” answered the nymph; “I am to _be let alone_.” THE RISING GENERATION. A methodist parson observed, in one of his discourses, that “such was the change in the public manners of the nation, that the _rising_ generation rarely _lie down_ till three o’clock in the morning.” THE MISER’S ADVICE. The following advice was left by a miser to his nephew: “Buy your coals in summer; your furniture at auctions, about a fortnight after quarter-day; and your books at the _fall of the leaf_.” ADVERTISEMENT. Some years ago, there appeared in the English papers an advertisement, which much resembles our notions of an Irish bull, in these words, which are the title to the advertisement:--“Every _man_ his own _washer-woman_!” WELSH TOURIST.