I am quite sure that if this narrative should ever fall into Erewhonian
hands, it will be said that what I have written about the relations
between parents and children being seldom satisfactory is an infamous
perversion of facts, and that in truth there are few young people who
do not feel happier in the society of their nearest relations[4] than
in any other. Mr. Nosnibor would be sure to say this. Yet I cannot
refrain from expressing an opinion that he would be a good deal
embarrassed if his deceased parents were to reappear and propose to pay
him a six months’ visit. I doubt whether there are many things which he
would regard as a greater infliction. They had died at a ripe old age
some twenty years before I came to know him, so the case is an extreme
one; but surely if they had treated him with what in his youth he had
felt to be true unselfishness, his face would brighten when he thought
of them to the end of his life.
In the one or two cases of true family affection which I met with, I am
sure that the young people who were so genuinely fond of their fathers
and mothers at eighteen, would at sixty be perfectly delighted were
they to get the chance of welcoming them as their guests. There is
nothing which could please them better, except perhaps to watch the
happiness of their own children and grandchildren.
This is how things should be. It is not an impossible ideal; it is one
which actually does exist in some few cases, and might exist in almost
all, with a little more patience and forbearance upon the parents’
part; but it is rare at present—so rare that they have a proverb which
I can only translate in a very roundabout way, but which says that the
great happiness of some people in a future state will consist in
watching the distress of their parents on returning to eternal
companionship with their grandfathers and grandmothers; whilst
“compulsory affection” is the idea which lies at the root of their word
for the deepest anguish.
There is no talisman in the word “parent” which can generate miracles
of affection, and I can well believe that my own child might find it
less of a calamity to lose both Arowhena and myself when he is six
years old, than to find us again when he is sixty—a sentence which I
would not pen did I not feel that by doing so I was giving him
something like a hostage, or at any rate putting a weapon into his
hands against me, should my selfishness exceed reasonable limits.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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