You see? Your “higher Parisian” class--not everybody, not the nation,
but only the top crust of the Nation--applies to debauchery all the
powers of its soul.
I argued to myself that that energy must produce results. So I built
an anecdote out of your remark. In it I make Napoleon Bonaparte say
to me--but see for yourself the anecdote (ingeniously clipped and
curtailed) in paragraph eleven of your Reply.--[So, I repeat, Mark Twain
does not like M. Paul Bourget's book. So long as he makes light fun
of the great French writer he is at home, he is pleasant, he is the
American humorist we know. When he takes his revenge (and where is the
reason for taking a revenge?) he is unkind, unfair, bitter, nasty.]
For example: See his answer to a Frenchman who jokingly remarks to him:
“I suppose life can never get entirely dull to an American, because
whenever he can't strike up any other way to put in his time, he can
always get away with a few years trying to find out who his grandfather
was.”
Hear the answer:
“I reckon a Frenchman's got his little standby for a dull time, too;
because when all other interests fail, he can turn in and see if he
can't find out who his father was.”
The first remark is a good-humored bit of chaffing on American snobbery.
I may be utterly destitute of humor, but I call the second remark a
gratuitous charge of immorality hurled at the French women--a remark
unworthy of a man who has the ear of the public, unworthy of a
gentleman, a gross insult to a nation friendly to America, a nation that
helped Mark Twain's ancestors in their struggle for liberty, a nation
where to-day it is enough to say that you are American to see every door
open wide to you.
If Mark Twain was hard up in search of, a French “chestnut,” I might
have told him the following little anecdote. It is more funny than his,
and would have been less insulting: Two little street boys are abusing
each other. “Ah, hold your tongue,” says one, “you ain't got no father.”
“Ain't got no father!” replies the other; “I've got more fathers than
you.”
Now, then, your anecdote about the grandfathers hurt me. Why? Because
it had a point. It wouldn't have hurt me if it hadn't had point. You
wouldn't have wasted space on it if it hadn't had point.
My anecdote has hurt you. Why? Because it had point, I suppose. It
wouldn't have hurt you if it hadn't had point. I judged from your remark
about the diligence and industry of the high Parisian upper crust that
it would have some point, but really I had no idea what a gold-mine I
had struck. I never suspected that the point was going to stick into the
entire nation; but of course you know your nation better than I do, and
if you think it punctures them all, I have to yield to your judgment.
But you are to blame, your own self. Your remark misled me. I supposed
the industry was confined to that little unnumerous upper layer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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