Well, now that the unfortunate thing has been done, let us do what we
can to undo it. There must be a way, M. Bourget, and I am willing to do
anything that will help; for I am as sorry as you can be yourself.
I will tell you what I think will be the very thing.
We will swap anecdotes. I will take your anecdote and you take mine. I
will say to the dukes and counts and princes of the ancient nobility of
France:
“Ha, ha! You must have a pretty hard time trying to find out who your
grandfathers were?”
They will merely smile indifferently and not feel hurt, because they can
trace their lineage back through centuries.
And you will hurl mine at every individual in the American nation,
saying:
“And you must have a pretty hard time trying to find out who your
fathers were.” They will merely smile indifferently, and not feel hurt,
because they haven't any difficulty in finding their fathers.
Do you get the idea? The whole harm in the anecdotes is in the point,
you see; and when we swap them around that way, they haven't any.
That settles it perfectly and beautifully, and I am glad I thought of
it. I am very glad indeed, M. Bourget; for it was just that little wee
thing that caused the whole difficulty and made you dictate the Reply,
and your amanuensis call me all those hard names which the magazines
dislike so. And I did it all in fun, too, trying to cap your funny
anecdote with another one--on the give-and-take principle, you
know--which is American. I didn't know that with the French it was
all give and no take, and you didn't tell me. But now that I have made
everything comfortable again, and fixed both anecdotes so they can never
have any point any more, I know you will forgive me.
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Essays on Paul Bourget
by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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