Extracts from Adam's Diary, translated from the original ms.Twain, Mark
History
Extracts from Adam's Diary, translated from the original ms.
Twain, Mark
Adam (Biblical figure) -- Fiction; Bible. Genesis -- History of Biblical events -- Fiction; Diary fiction; Humorous stories
I escaped last Tuesday night, and travelled two days, and built me
another shelter, in a secluded place, and obliterated my tracks as well
as I could, but she hunted me out by means of a beast which she has
tamed and calls a wolf, and came making that pitiful noise again, and
shedding that water out of the places she looks with. I was obliged to
return with her, but will presently emigrate again, when occasion
offers. She engages herself in many foolish things: among others,
trying to study out why the animals called lions and tigers live on
grass and flowers, when, as she says, the sort of teeth they wear would
indicate that they were intended to eat each other. This is foolish,
because to do that would be to kill each other, and that would
introduce what, as I understand it, is called “death;” and death, as I
have been told, has not yet entered the Park. Which is a pity, on some
accounts.
Sunday
Pulled through.
Monday
I believe I see what the week is for: it is to give time to rest up
from the weariness of Sunday. It seems a good idea…. She has been
climbing that tree again. Clodded her out of it. She said nobody was
looking. Seems to consider that a sufficient justification for chancing
any dangerous thing. Told her that. The word justification moved her
admiration—and envy too, I thought. It is a good word.
Thursday
She told me she was made out of a rib taken from my body. This is at
least doubtful, if not more than that. I have not missed any rib…. She
is in much trouble about the buzzard; says grass does not agree with
it; is afraid she can’t raise it; thinks it was intended to live on
decayed flesh. The buzzard must get along the best it can with what is
provided. We cannot overturn the whole scheme to accommodate the
buzzard.
Saturday
She fell in the pond yesterday, when she was looking at herself in it,
which she is always doing. She nearly strangled, and said it was most
uncomfortable. This made her sorry for the creatures which live in
there, which she calls fish, for she continues to fasten names on to
things that don’t need them and don’t come when they are called by
them, which is a matter of no consequence to her, as she is such a
numskull anyway; so she got a lot of them out and brought them in last
night and put them in my bed to keep warm, but I have noticed them now
and then all day, and I don’t see that they are any happier there than
they were before, only quieter. When night comes I shall throw them
out-doors. I will not sleep with them again, for I find them clammy and
unpleasant to lie among when a person hasn’t anything on.
Sunday
Pulled through.
Tuesday
She has taken up with a snake now. The other animals are glad, for she
was always experimenting with them and bothering them; and I am glad,
because the snake talks, and this enables me to get a rest.
Friday
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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