Extracts from Adam's Diary, translated from the original ms.Twain, Mark
History
Extracts from Adam's Diary, translated from the original ms.
Twain, Mark
Adam (Biblical figure) -- Fiction; Bible. Genesis -- History of Biblical events -- Fiction; Diary fiction; Humorous stories
She says the snake advises her to try the fruit of that tree, and says
the result will be a great and fine and noble education. I told her
there would be another result, too—it would introduce death into the
world. That was a mistake—it had been better to keep the remark to
myself; it only gave her an idea—she could save the sick buzzard, and
furnish fresh meat to the despondent lions and tigers. I advised her to
keep away from the tree. She said she wouldn’t. I foresee trouble. Will
emigrate.
Wednesday
I have had a variegated time. I escaped that night, and rode a horse
all night as fast as he could go, hoping to get clear out of the Park
and hide in some other country before the trouble should begin; but it
was not to be. About an hour after sunup, as I was riding through a
flowery plain where thousands of animals were grazing, slumbering, or
playing with each other, according to their wont, all of a sudden they
broke into a tempest of frightful noises, and in one moment the plain
was in a frantic commotion and every beast was destroying its neighbor.
I knew what it meant—Eve had eaten that fruit, and death was come into
the world…. The tigers ate my horse, paying no attention when I ordered
them to desist, and they would even have eaten me if I had stayed—which
I didn’t, but went away in much haste…. I found this place, outside the
Park, and was fairly comfortable for a few days, but she has found me
out. Found me out, and has named the place Tonawanda—says it looks like
that. In fact, I was not sorry she came, for there are but meagre
pickings here, and she brought some of those apples. I was obliged to
eat them, I was so hungry. It was against my principles, but I find
that principles have no real force except when one is well fed…. She
came curtained in boughs and bunches of leaves, and when I asked her
what she meant by such nonsense, and snatched them away and threw them
down, she tittered and blushed. I had never seen a person titter and
blush before, and to me it seemed unbecoming and idiotic. She said I
would soon know how it was myself. This was correct. Hungry as I was, I
laid down the apple half eaten—certainly the best one I ever saw,
considering the lateness of the season—and arrayed myself in the
discarded boughs and branches, and then spoke to her with some severity
and ordered her to go and get some more and not make such a spectacle
of herself. She did it, and after this we crept down to where the
wild-beast battle had been, and collected some skins, and I made her
patch together a couple of suits proper for public occasions. They are
uncomfortable, it is true, but stylish, and that is the main point
about clothes. … I find she is a good deal of a companion. I see I
should be lonesome and depressed without her, now that I have lost my
property. Another thing, she says it is ordered that we work for our
living hereafter. She will be useful. I will superintend.
Ten Days Later
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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