Adoptees -- Fiction; Fathers and daughters -- Fiction
A few minutes after and the little girl fell asleep, nestled in his
arms. Her attitude had all the inartificial grace of childhood; her face
hushed to repose, yet breathed of affection. Falkner turned his eyes
from her to the starry sky. His heart swelled impatiently--his past life
lay as a map unrolled before him. He had desired a peaceful
happiness--the happiness of love. His fond aspirations had been snakes
to destroy others, and to sting his own soul to torture. He writhed
under the consciousness of the remorse and horror which were henceforth
to track his path of life. Yet, even while he shuddered, he felt that a
revolution was operating within himself--he no longer contemplated
suicide. That which had so lately appeared a mark of courage wore now
the guise of cowardice. And yet, if he were to live, where and how
should his life be passed? He recoiled from the solitude of the heart
which had marked his early years--and yet he felt that he could never
more link himself in love or friendship to any.
He looked upon the sleeping child, and began to conjecture whether he
might not find in her the solace he needed. Should he not adopt her,
mould her heart to affection, teach her to lean on him only, be all the
world to her, while her gentleness and caresses would give life a
charm--without which it were vain to attempt to endure existence?
He reflected what Elizabeth's probable fate would be if he restored her
to her father's family. Personal experience had given him a horror for
the forbidding, ostentatious kindness of distant relations. That hers
resembled such as he had known, and were imperious and cold-hearted,
their conduct not only to Mrs. Raby, but previously to a meritorious
son, did not permit him to doubt. If he made the orphan over to them,
their luxuries and station would ill stand instead of affection and
heartfelt kindness. Soft, delicate, and fond, she would pine and die.
With him, on the contrary, she would be happy--he would devote himself
to her--every wish gratified--her gentle disposition carefully
cultivated--no rebuke, no harshness; his arms ever open to receive her
in grief--his hand to support her in danger. Was not this a fate her
mother would have preferred? In bequeathing her to her friend, she
showed how little she wished that her sweet girl should pass into the
hands of her husband's relations. Could he not replace that friend of
whom he had so cruelly robbed her--whose loss was to be attributed to
him alone?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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