Adoptees -- Fiction; Fathers and daughters -- Fiction
We all are apt to think that when we discard a motive we cure a fault,
and foster the same error from a new cause with a safe conscience. Thus,
even now, aching and sore from the tortures of remorse for past faults,
Falkner indulged in the same propensity, which, apparently innocent in
its commencement, had led to fatal results. He meditated doing rather
what he wished than what was strictly just. He did not look forward to
the evils his own course involved, while he saw in disproportionate
magnitude those to be brought about if he gave up his favourite project.
What ills might arise to the orphan from his interweaving her fate with
his--he, a criminal, in act, if not in intention--who might be called
upon hereafter to answer for his deeds, and who at least must fly and
hide himself--of this he thought not; while he determined that, fostered
and guarded by him, Elizabeth must be happy--and, under the tutelage of
her relations, she would become the victim of hardhearted neglect. These
ideas floated somewhat indistinctly in his mind--and it was half
unconsciously that he was building from them a fabric for the future as
deceitful as it was alluring.
After several days' travelling, Falkner found himself with his young
charge in London, and then he began to wonder wherefore he had repaired
thither, and to consider that he must form some settled scheme for the
future. He had in England neither relation nor friend whom he cared for.
Orphaned at an early age, neglected by those who supported him, at least
as far as the affections were concerned, he had, even in boyhood, known
intimately, and loved but one person only--she who had ruled his fate to
this hour--and was now among the dead. Sent to India in early youth, he
had there to make his way in defiance of poverty, of want of connexion,
of his own overbearing disposition--and the sense of wrong early
awakened that made him proud and reserved. At last, most unexpectedly,
the death of several relations caused the family estate to devolve upon
him--and he had sold his commission in India and hastened home--with his
heart so set upon one object, that he scarcely reflected, or reflected
only to congratulate himself, on how alone he stood. And now that his
impetuosity and ill-regulated passions had driven the dear object of all
his thoughts to destruction--still he was glad that there were none to
question him--none to wonder at his resolves; to advise or to reproach.
Still a plan was necessary. The very act of his life which had been so
big with ruin and remorse enjoined some forethought. It was probable
that he was already suspected, if not known. Detection and punishment in
a shape most loathsome would overtake him, did he not shape his measures
with prudence; and, as hate as well as love had mixed strongly in his
motives, he was in no humour to give his enemies the triumph of visiting
his crime on him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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