Fanny and the Servant ProblemJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Fanny and the Servant Problem
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama; Married people -- Drama
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I feel sure she’s a good woman. Vernon would
never have fallen in love with her if she hadn’t been good. [_They take
each other’s hand_, _and sit side by side_, _as before_, _upon the
settee_. _The twilight has faded_: _only the faint firelight remains_,
_surrounded by shadows_.] Do you remember, when he was a little mite,
how he loved to play with your hair? [_The younger Miss Wetherell
laughs_.] I always envied you your hair.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. He was so fond of us both. Do you remember
when he was recovering from the measles, his crying for us to bath him
instead of Mrs. Bennet? I have always reproached myself that we refused.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. He was such a big boy for his age.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. I think we might have stretched a point in a
case of illness.
_The room has grown very dark_. _The door has been softly opened_;
_Vernon and Fanny have entered noiselessly_. _Fanny remains near the
door hidden by a screen_, _Vernon has crept forward_. _At this point the
two ladies become aware that somebody is in the room_. _They are
alarmed_.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Who’s there?
VERNON. It’s all right, aunt. It’s only I.
_The two ladies have risen_. _They run forward_, _both take him in their
arms_.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Vernon!
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. My dear boy!
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. But we didn’t expect you—
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. And your wife, dear?
VERNON. She’s here!
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Here?
_Fanny_, _from behind the screen_, _laughs_.
VERNON. We’ll have some light. [_He whispers to them_.] Not a
word—haven’t told her yet. [_Feeling his way to the wall_, _he turns on
the electric light_.]
_Fanny is revealed_, _having slipped out from behind the screen_. _There
is a pause_. _Vernon_, _standing near the fire_, _watches admiringly_.
FANNY. Hope you are going to like me.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. My dear, I am sure we shall.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It is so easy to love the young and pretty.
[_They have drawn close to her_. _They seem to hesitate_.]
FANNY [_laughs_]. It doesn’t come off, does it, Vernon, dear? [_Vernon
laughs_. _The two ladies_, _laughing_, _kiss her_.] I’m so glad you
think I’m pretty. As a matter of fact, I’m not. There’s a certain charm
about me, I admit. It deceives people.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. We were afraid—you know, dear, boys—[_she
looks at Vernon and smiles_] sometimes fall in love with women much older
than themselves—especially women—[_She grows confused_. _She takes the
girl’s hand_.] We are so relieved that you—that you are yourself, dear,
FANNY. You were quite right, dear. They are sweet. Which is which?
VERNON [_laughs_]. Upon my word, I never can tell.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Vernon! And you know I was always your
favourite!
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Dear!
VERNON. Then this is Aunt Alice.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. No dear, Edith.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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