A Political Preferment, labelled with its price, was canvassing the State to find a purchaser. One day it offered itself to a Truly Good Man, who, after examining the label and finding the price was exactly twice as great as he was willing to pay, spurned the Political Preferment from his door. Then the People said: "Behold, this is an honest citizen!" And the Truly Good Man humbly confessed that it was so. A Creaking Tail An American Statesman who had twisted the tail of the British Lion until his arms ached was at last rewarded by a sharp, rasping sound. "I knew your fortitude would give out after a while," said the American Statesman, delighted; "your agony attests my political power." "Agony I know not!" said the British Lion, yawning; "the swivel in my tail needs a few drops of oil, that is all." Wasted Sweets A Candidate canvassing his district met a Nurse wheeling a Baby in a carriage, and, stooping, imprinted a kiss upon the Baby's clammy muzzle. Rising, he saw a Man, who laughed. "Why do you laugh?" asked the Candidate. "Because," replied the Man, "the Baby belongs to the Orphan Asylum." "But the Nurse," said the Candidate--"the Nurse will surely relate the touching incident wherever she goes, and perhaps write to her former master." "The Nurse," said the Man who had laughed, "is an inmate of the Institution for the Illiterate-Deaf-and-Dumb." Six and One The Committee on Gerrymander worked late, drawing intricate lines on a map of the State, and being weary sought repose in a game of poker. At the close of the game the six Republican members were bankrupt and the single Democrat had all the money. On the next day, when the Committee was called to order for business, one of the luckless six mounted his legs, and said: "Mr. Chairman, before we bend to our noble task of purifying politics, in the interest of good government I wish to say a word of the untoward events of last evening. If my memory serves me the disasters which overtook the Majority of this honourable body always befell when it was the Minority's deal. It is my solemn conviction, Mr. Chairman, and to its affirmation I pledge my life, my fortune, and my sacred honour, that that wicked and unscrupulous Minority redistricted the cards!" The Sportsman and the Squirrel A Sportsman who had wounded a Squirrel, which was making desperate efforts to drag itself away, ran after it with a stick, exclaiming: "Poor thing! I will put it out of its misery." At that moment the Squirrels stopped from exhaustion, and looking up at its enemy, said: "I don't venture to doubt the sincerity of your compassion, though it comes rather late, but you seem to lack the faculty of observation. Do you not perceive by my actions that the dearest wish of my heart is to continue in my misery?"