Father Tom and the Pope : $b Or, a night in the VaticanFerguson, Samuel
Religion
Father Tom and the Pope : $b Or, a night in the Vatican
Ferguson, Samuel
Catholic Church -- Fiction; Christian fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; Popes -- Fiction
"Ha, ha, ha!--ho, ho, ho!" says his Riv'rence. "Who's the hare now,
your Holiness? Oh, by this and by that, I've sacked you clane! Clane
and clever I've done it, and no mistake! You see what a bit ov desate
will do wid the wisest, your Holiness--sure it was joking I was, on
purpose to aggravate you--all's fair, you know, in love, law, and
conthravarsy. In troth if I'd thought you'd have taken it so much to
heart, I'd have put my head into the fire afore I'd have said a word to
offind you," says he, for he seen that the Pope was very vexed. "Sure,
God forbid that I'd say anything agin your Holiness, barring it was
in fun: for arn't you the father ov the faithful, and the thrue vicar
ov God upon earth? And amn't I ready to go down on my two knees this
blessed minit and beg your epostolical pardon for every word that I
said to your displasement?"
"Are you in arnest that it is in fun you wor?" says the Pope.
"May I never die if I amn't," says his Riv'rence. "It was all to
provoke your Holiness to commit a brache ov the Latin that I tuck the
small liberties I did," says he.
"I'd have you to take care," says the Pope, "how you take sich small
liberties again, or maybe you'll provoke me to commit a brache ov the
pace."
"Well, and if I did," said his Riv'rence, "I know a sartan preparation
ov chymicals that's very good for curing a brache either in Latinity or
frindship."
"What's that?" says the Pope, quite mollified, and sitting down
again at the table that he had ris from in the first pluff ov his
indignation. "What's that?" says he, "for, 'pon my Epistolical 'davy,
I think it 'udn't be asy to bate this miraclous mixthir that we've
been thrying to anilize this two hours back," says he, taking a mighty
scientifical swig out ov the bottom ov his tumbler.
"It's good for a beginning," says his Riv'rence: "it lays a very nate
foundation for more sarious operation: but we're now arrived at a
pariod ov the evening when its time to proceed wid our shuperstructhure
by compass and square, like free and excipted masons as we both are."
My time's up for the present; but I'll tell you the rest in the evening
at home.
CHAPTER IV.
HOW FATHER TOM AND HIS HOLINESS DISPUTED IN METAPHYSICS AND ALGEBRA.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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