Father Tom and the Pope : $b Or, a night in the Vatican — John Shaqi
Father Tom and the Pope : $b Or, a night in the VaticanFerguson, Samuel
Religion
Father Tom and the Pope : $b Or, a night in the Vatican
Ferguson, Samuel
Catholic Church -- Fiction; Christian fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; Popes -- Fiction
"_Eversor_, id est cyathus," says his Riv'rence, "nam apud nos
_tumbleri_, seu eversores, dicti sunt ab evertendo ceremonian inter
amicos; non, ut Temperantiæ Societatis frigidis fautoribus placet,
ab evertendis ipsis potatoribus." (It's not every masther unher the
Boord, I tell you, could carry such a car-load ov the dead langidges.)
"In agro vero Louthiano et Midensi," says he, "nomine gaudent quodam
secundum linguam Anglicanam significante bombardam seu tormentum; quia
ex eis tanquam ex telis jaculatoriis liquorem faucibus immitere solent.
Etiam inter hæreticos illos melanostomos" (that was a touch of Greek),
"Presbyterianos Septentrionales, qui sunt terribiles potatores, Cyathi
dicti sunt _faceres_, et dimidium Cyathi _hæf-a-glessus_. Dimidium
Cyathi vero apud Metropolitanos Hibernicos dicitur _dandy_."--
"En verbum Anglicanum!" says the Pope, clapping his hands--"leporem te
fecisti;" as much as to say that he had made a hare ov himself.
"_Dandæus, dandæus_, verbum erat," says his Riv'rence--oh, the dear
man, but it's himself that was handy ever and always at getting out ov
a hobble--"_dandæus_ verbum erat," says he, "quod dicturus eram, cum me
intherpillavisti."
"Ast ego dico," says the Pope, very sharp, "quod verbum erat _dandy_."
"Per tibicinem qui coram Mose modulatus est," says his Riv'rence, "id
flagellat mundum! _Dandæus_ dixi, et tu dicis _dandy_; ergo tu es
lepus, non ego--Ah, ha! Saccavi vesthram Sanctitatem!"
"Mendacium est!" says the Pope, quite forgetting himself, he was so mad
at being sacked before the sarvints.
Well, if it hadn't been that his Holiness was in it, Father Tom 'ud
have given him the contints of his tumbler betuxt the two eyes for
calling him a liar; and, in troth, it's very well it was in Latin the
offince was conveyed, for, if it had been in the vernacular, there's
no saying what 'ud ha' been the consequence. His Riv'rence was mighty
angry anyhow.--"Tu senex lathro," says he, "quomodo audes me mendacem
prædicare?"
"Et tu, sacrilege nebulo," says the Pope, "quomodo audacitatem habeas,
me Dei in terris vicarium, lathronem conviciari?"
"Interroga circumcirca," says his Riv'rence.
"Abi ex ædibus meis," says the Pope.
"Abi tu in malem crucem," says his Riv'rence.
"Excomunicabo te," says the Pope.
"Diabolus curat," says his Riv'rence.
"Anathema sis," says the Pope.
"Oscula meum pod," says his Riv'rence--but, my dear, afore he
could finish what he was going to say, the Pope broke out into the
vernacular, "Get out o' my house, you reprobate!" says he, in sich a
rage that he could contain himself widin the Latin no longer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account