"What would I mane," says his Riv'rence, as composed as a docther ov physic, "but that your Holiness is at the head ov all them--troth I had a'most forgot I wasn't a bishop myself," says he, (the deludher was going to say, as the head ov all _us_)--"that has the gift ov laying on hands. For sure," says he, "imposther and _imposithir_ is all one, so you're only to undherstand _manuum_, and the job is done. Awouich!" says he, "if any heretic 'ud go for to cast up sich a passidge as that agin me, I'd soon give him a lesson in the p'lite art ov cutting a stick to welt his own back wid." "'Pon my epostolical word," says the Pope, "you've cleared up them two pints in a most satisfactory manner." "You see," says his Riv'rence--by this time they wor mixing their third tumbler--"the writings ov them Fathers is to be thrated wid great veneration; and it 'ud be the height of presumption in any one to sit down to interpret them widout providing himself wid a genteel assortment ov the best figures ov rhetoric, sich as mettonymy, hyperbol, cattychraysis, prolipsis, mettylipsis, superbaton, pollysyndreton, hustheronprotheron, prosodypeia and the like, in ordher that he may never be at a loss for shuitable sintiments when he comes to their high-flown passidges. For unless we thrate them Fathers liberally to a handsome allowance ov thropes and figures, they'd set up heresy at ons't, so they would." "It's thrue for you," says the Pope; "the figures ov spache is the pillars ov the Church." "Bedad," says his Riv'rence, "I dunna what we'd do widout them at all." "Which one do you prefir?" says the Pope; "that is," says he, "which figure ov spache do you find most usefullest when you're hard set?" "Metaphour's very good," says his Riv'rence, "and so's mettonymy--and I've known prosodypeia stand to me at a pinch mighty well--but for a constancy, superbaton's the figure for my money. Divil be in me," says he, "but I'd prove black white as fast as a horse 'ud throt wid only a good stock ov superbaton." "Faix," says the Pope, wid a sly look, "you'd need to have it backed, I judge, wid a small taste ov assurance." "Well now, jist for that word," says his Riv'rence, "I'll prove it widout aither one or other. Black," says he, "is one thing and white is another thing. You don't conthravene that? But every thing is aither one thing or another thing; I defy the apostle Paul to get over that dilemma. Well! If any thing be one thing, well and good; but if it be another thing, then it's plain it isn't both things, and so can't be two things--nobody can deny that. But what can't be two things must be one thing--_Ergo_, whether it's one thing or another thing it's all one. But black is one thing and white is another thing--_Ergo_, black and white is all one. _Quod erat demonsthrandum._"