UNKNOWN MAN. What else do you want? Do you think I am going to break my neck for your measly ten dollars? Boss, I can't stand it any more. One man wanted to shoot me. The pastor preached me for two hours. This is not in the agreement. ALECK. Father, I told you that Baedeker lies. You believe everything anybody tells you and drag us about without eating. MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. The people were bored. My only desire was to amuse the people. MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? I don't understand a thing. Why isn't he going to fall? Who, then, is going to fall? TOURIST. I don't understand a thing either. Of course he's got to fall! JAMES. You never understand anything, father. Weren't you told that he's tied to the rock? ALECK. You can't convince him. He loves every Baedeker more than his own children. JAMES. A nice father! TOURIST. Silence! MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? He must fall. TALL TOURIST. The idea! What a deception. You'll have to explain this. MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. The people were bored. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, but wishing to accommodate you--give you a few hours of pleasant excitement--elevate your spirits--inspire you with altruistic sentiments-- ENGLISHMAN. Is the café yours? MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. Yes. ENGLISHMAN. And is the hotel below also yours? GENTLEMAN. Yes. The people were bored-- CORRESPONDENT [_writing_]. The proprietor of the café, desiring to increase his profits from the sale of alcoholic beverages, exploits the best human sentiments.--The people's indignation-- UNKNOWN MAN [_angrily_]. Boss, will you have me taken off at once or won't you? HOTEL KEEPER. What do you want up there? Aren't you satisfied? Didn't I have you taken off at night? UNKNOWN MAN. Well, I should say so. You think I'd be hanging here nights, too! HOTEL OWNER. Then you can stand it a few minutes longer. The people are bored-- TALL TOURIST. Say, have you any idea of what you have done? Do you realize the enormity of it? You are scoundrels, who for your own sordid personal ends have impiously exploited the finest human sentiment, love of one's neighbor. You have caused us to undergo fear and suffering. You have poisoned our hearts with pity. And now, what is the upshot of it all? The upshot is that this scamp, your vile accomplice, is bound to the rock and not only will he not fall as everybody expects, but he _can't_. MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? He has got to fall. TOURIST. Policeman! Policeman! [_The pastor enters, out of breath._] PASTOR. What? Is he still living? Oh, there he is! What fakirs those Salvationists are. VOICES. Don't you know that he is bound? PASTOR. Bound! Bound to what? To life? Well, we are all bound to life until death snaps the cord. But whether he is bound or not bound, I reconciled him with heaven, and that's enough. But those fakirs-- TOURIST. Policeman! Policeman, you must draw up an official report. There is no way out of it.