First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
One morning the three were walking together; the sisters, with their
usual friendly familiarity, leaning each on an arm of our hero, whom they
always treated as a brother; when Frances began, in a laughing manner, to
ask him how soon his marriage with Lady Susan was to take place. Edmund
tried to smile, but sighed very heavily.
“No! so it is really serious!” cried Frances. Julia too, commenced a sort
of sigh, but, as soon as she was aware that she had done so, she closed
her lips, that the breath might descend without sound. Edmund, on whom,
as we have just observed, she was leaning, felt the slight movement, and
was strangely gratified; not that he presumed to assign any cause to the
sigh.
“You know, Frances,” he said, in reply to the question about Lady Susan,
“that business is completely a jest! I wonder, by the bye, her ladyship
is not offended at being made the subject of a jest. But, were it
otherwise,” he continued, with solemnity, “were she indeed the object of
an overwhelming passion—were she indeed the being whose looks, whose
words, whose smile gave value to each moment of existence—were she in
short the object of a _first love_, which you know they say cannot be
torn up without carrying with it the very fibres of the heart itself,
and leaving it incapable of future energy; (I do not say that I should
attempt to eradicate the sentiment, no, I should cherish its very
miseries as preferable far to the barren waste, the joyless void of a
heart weaned from love;) but such feelings, whatever it might cost me to
suppress them, should never be permitted to pass my lips, while mystery
hung over my birth.”
“But may you not be loved for your own sake, Edmund, whoever you
are?” said Frances, “and for the sake of the high character you have
established for yourself, as Mr. Jackson says? I am sure I could not love
you better, nor grandmamma, nor Julia, nor Mr. Jackson, if you turned
out to be the eldest son of his Majesty, and rightful heir to the throne
of Great Britain!”
Edmund looked round involuntarily towards Julia, but her eyes were on the
ground.
“I hope, Frances,” he said, in a mournful tone, “that I shall always
possess the kind regard of the friends you have named. This hope, indeed,
is and ever must be the only solace of my isolated, and, in all other
respects, hopeless existence!”
“Don’t speak that way, Edmund, you make me quite melancholy!” said
Frances, the tears starting into her eyes, as she held out her hand,
which Edmund snatched and kissed.
“You _hope_!” said Julia, in a tremulous tone, in which was something of
reproach. She looked up for a moment as she spoke, and Edmund saw the
glistening of tears in her eyes also.
“I am sure,” he said, “of every thing that is noble, every thing that
is generous, every thing that is kind.”—“That last word, Edmund,” said
Julia, interrupting him, “is more like the language of the friend you
ought to feel yourself among us.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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