Betrothal -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
As she walked, she argued it out with him, the old imaginary Justin, in
the old childish way. It was long since she had had him at her side. Her
common sense had recognized the danger of such make-believe, the folly
of using her mind as a mere play-house in which her thoughts were
actors, rehearsing each coming event with such richness of setting, such
significance of detail, such completeness of result, that, in
comparison, the reality must always disappoint her. She had conquered,
she believed that she had at last conquered the tendency, and prided
herself a little on the effort; for it had been surprisingly difficult.
Laura, arm-in-arm with Nemesis, did not for one instant recognize her
companion, did not guess that the old creative instinct that she had so
conscientiously scotched a year before was not, was never killed, that
if growth were denied it in one art it would be bound to appear in
another, and again and again denied its body, would find a ghost-life in
her very dreams. Dear Laura was merely pleased with herself because, as
Justin would have wished her to do, she had put an end to childish
things, such as telling herself stories when she went to bed, deciding
the colour of her eldest grandson’s eyes, and talking to Justin when he
was not there.
But, as I say, she had reckoned without her sleeping partner. On that
June morning she walked the long mile between Green Gates and the
Priory, unregenerate, a recusant, lips moving, eyes eloquent, rehearsing
an ordeal, haranguing Justin.
He would be angry—violently angry. She conceived her act, envisaged its
consequences, nor lost her head when the explosion came. She was face to
face with the anger of Justin and was able to ignore it. She argued: she
overbore him: for once she let herself go. She had no need to stumble
for words: the stinging phrases jostled for precedence upon her lips.
She ranged her charges, calling this and that incident in witness: held
up to ridicule his lethargy, his complacency, his lack of purpose. Her
passion rose, she convinced herself anew, as she sorted her sentences,
flung her taunts.
She told him that his collection typified his attitude to life and,
therefore, though it had been priceless, irreplaceable, instead of the
trumpery it was, she would have destroyed it just the same. He asked her
how she dared stand there—? (Justin’s few contributions to the
discussion strike one as having a distinctly feminine flavour) how she
dared—and she told him that she dared anything where he was concerned;
that she knew what she was doing, what she was risking, what she was
losing; but that he should not make himself a laughing-stock if she
could help it; that if he could not see that he was making himself a
laughing-stock, she did—she did!
She was furiously rude to him; she——
She began all over again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account