ever been ungrateful to God and have offended him in every way; yet I
trust in his mercy. I answered: That is the important thing. _Quare
igitur tristis est anima tua, et quare conturbat te? Spera in Deo
quoniam adhuc confiteberis illi, salutare vultus tui, et Deus tuus._
Then he said: ’Tis well. And raising himself from the chair he placed
himself on the mattress with his chained legs, and continued: Since
it pleases God that we are to be the first to give an example to the
people, let us begin. But Luca, this confessor? And I: Yes, but you
understand that I am not sure if you can have a friar of S. Marco, you
know they are gravely suspected and I doubt if they will come here.
Is there no one in the Badia you would like? Who is there? he asked.
There is the Abbot, Don Giovanni Battista Sacchetti, I replied, and
some others who are held to be good confessors. Then he said: I need
a man who can touch my heart, see if I can have such a one. Stefano
the miniature painter came up and offered to go to S. Marco, in order
that he might be contented; then another said: Messer Jacopo Manegli
is here, you can have him. But with loud and clear voice he answered:
I will not have Messer Jacopo, and turning to Stefano said: Go to S.
Marco and fetch him of Lucca (meaning Fra Santi). And I added: If he
cannot come, bring Fra Serafino (a friar whose nature I considered was
much allied to Boscoli’s). Then addressing those around he said: I pray
you do not confuse my head (for one or another was ever going up to
him), Luca suffices, he knows my character; if I want anything I can
tell him. And taking from his sleeve a paper written by him in prison
for his brothers, he told me to give it to them, saying: All my wishes
are written here. I leave no burthen on any one, save to pray to God
sometimes for me.... Then naming his mother he said: Who will console
her in such affliction? Poor woman, the blow will be a hard one. So I
replied: Pagolo, I have spoken with her. And he: Is it true? Yes, I
answered, I have been there every day since last Sunday, and although
the body is weak, nevertheless the spirit is upheld by God; for you
know she is of high quality. He answered: Yes, truly she is of high
quality.... Now Luca, help me to drive Brutus from my head, that I may
die like a good Christian. And I: That will not be difficult as you
desire to die a Christian. Besides you know these Roman stories are not
written simply and nakedly, but dressed out with much art. He replied:
And even if true, what matter they to me as they do not contain the
true faith. And I: See, you have answered and helped yourself. Luca, he
said, do not praise me. And I: I am here to aid you. Tell me all your
wants, with God’s help, I will try to comfort you; and yet, ’tis you
who comfort me. He replied: My intellect, but with difficulty, believes
in the true faith and desires to die like a Christian. But my heart
seems hard, and I cannot explain my thoughts even to myself. And I: I
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