Bildungsromans; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; First loves -- Fiction; Ireland -- Fiction
of those men who gnaw the ends of their moustaches, and have behind
them the remembrance of a fearful life. My name was Dare Stamer, or
Paul Le Mesurier, and my heart was sombre and volcanic. The plot of our
romance did not vary a great deal. We met; we loved; we quarrelled. I
married somebody else――a cold, soulless, blonde beauty with magnificent
shoulders――and Katherine sometimes went into a consumption, and
sometimes did not, but in either case there was a last meeting between
us, when the veils of falsehoods were torn aside, and for one wild,
mad, delirious moment I held her in my arms, my lips pressed on hers.
It was these wild, mad, delirious moments that so appealed to me. They
followed one another thick and fast as rain-drops in a thunder-shower.
I was ever at a climax. The room was brimmed up with lovers’ tears
and lovers’ kisses, meetings and partings, yet never perhaps had the
text above my head, though I was far from thinking so, been obeyed so
literally and so successfully.
CHAPTER VIII
I was wakened in the morning by Tony scratching at my door. Still
half-asleep, I got up to let him in, and then returned to bed, where
he had already taken the most comfortable place. He looked at me for a
moment or two and then closed his round, dark, innocent eyes till they
showed only as two slits of dim silver, and set up a loud snoring. I
was too lazy to get up, and lay idly watching him. He had a curious and
expressive beauty, resembling that of some wonderful piece of Chinese
porcelain, at once bizarre and attractive. There was something quaint
about him, an adorable simplicity. In colour he was white, decorated
with brindle patches. Leonardo would have made a drawing of him, would
have delighted in the superb limbs and wide deep chest, the big, broad,
heavy, wrinkled head, with its massive, low-hanging jaw, its upturned,
flat, black nose, its silky ears, like the petals of a rose, and those
dark, lovely eyes, in which, when he was at rest, a profound melancholy
floated. As a pup, able to walk and no more, he had been a birthday
present from Mrs. Carroll: now he weighed about sixty pounds and was
three years old.
As I watched him I tried to make up my mind whether I should say
anything further about going to Derryaghy. In spite of all last night’s
bravery I knew well enough that, when it came to the point, it was
really rather impossible deliberately to disobey my father; and, what
is more, that I shouldn’t want to do so. I somehow kept seeing the
thing from his point of view, and this irritated me, because it made me
powerless to do anything but sit at home and sulk.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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