Yes, something was impending. There he sat, sick with alarms, cowardly,
spiritless, effete. Something was in the air; he felt it coming nearer,
to overwhelm him, to wrestle with him for life or death in a frenzy of
despair; he felt himself tottering, sinking; he was torn from the ease
and comfort of his present life, cast out into the streets, without
shelter, without anything! For what had he of his own? The clothes he
wore, the shoes on his feet, the ring on his finger were Frank's. The
dinner to come, the bed upstairs, were Frank's. Thus had it been for a
year past; and if he were to go with all he possessed, he would
go--naked, in the winter. And he could not again be as he had been in
America, tramping for work day after day. His body and mind alike were
enervated, as by a warm bath of luxury; he had become like a hot-house
plant which is accustomed to the moist heat, and perishes when it is
placed in the open air. But it hung over him, cruel and unrelenting; not
for an instant did the threat relax, and in his abject weakness he
feebly wrung his white hands, and two tears, hot with despair, rolled
down his cheeks.
Struggle for existence! He was incapable of such a battle; his energy
was too lax for that--a laxity which he had felt growing on him as a joy
after his fight for life, but which now had made him powerless to screw
himself up to the merest semblance of determination.
And before him he saw the fateful chain of events passing onwards--some
so infinitely small--each detail a terrible link, and all leading on to
catastrophe. Strange that each one was the outcome of its predecessor!
the future the outcome of the past! If, after his failure from sheer
idleness at Leyden, his father had not placed him as clerk in the office
of a Manchester house, he would probably never have known certain
youths, his fellow clerks, fashionable young rakes, and fierce
"strugglers for existence;" still scarcely more than boys, and already
the worse for dissipation. If he had never known them--and yet, how
pleasantly had they borne him along, merely by humouring his natural
bent!--he might, perhaps, not have played such underhand tricks with the
money belonging to the firm, that his patron, out of sympathy and regard
for his father, had helped him to go to America. That was where he had
sunk deepest, swamped in the maelstrom of more energetic
fortune-hunters. If only he had been less unlucky in America, he would
not have found himself stranded in London in such utter destitution, or
have appealed to Westhove for help.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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