It was to her a poetic friendship, which very harmoniously supplemented
her love for Frank Westhove; a kind of love of which in her girlish
enthusiasm she had never imagined the existence, and of which, if she
could have suspected it, she would certainly never have thought herself
capable: a calm, peaceful, and true affection, practical, almost homely,
without the faintest tinge of romance; a love, not blind to her lover's
faults, but faithful to him in spite of them, like a mother's for her
undeserving child. She perceived his indolence over every voluntary
effort, his indecision over every serious question, his vacillation
between this and that; and did not blind herself to all this weakness.
But it was this very weakness which had gained her heart, as a pleasing
contrast with the cool, uneffusive, sober affection of her father, who
spoiled her indeed, but never so much as she herself desired.
Then there was another contrast which charmed her even more, which had
filled her heart with an admiration that had become a passion; the
contrast in Frank himself, of his mild, yielding character with the
robust vigour of his stalwart person. She, woman as she was, found
something adorable in the fact of this splendidly strong youth, with
his broad chest and shoulders, his great mane of fair hair and powerful
neck--this man, whose suppleness and ease in lifting and moving things
betrayed constant practice in the use of his limbs--being so feeble in
determination, and so gentle in demeanour. When she was alone and
thought of him so, she could not help smiling, though the tears came
into her eyes--tears of happiness--for this contrast made her happy. It
was very strange, she thought, and she could not understand it; it was a
riddle; but she did not try to solve it, for it was a riddle that she
loved, and as she thought of it, with smiling lips and tear-dimmed eyes,
she longed only to have her arms round his neck--her own Frank's.
She did not idealise him; she never now thought of platonic twin-souls
in superhuman ecstasy; she took him as he was, a mere man; and it was
for what he was that she worshipped him, calm and at rest in her
worship. Although she knew that the romantic side of her nature could
never find fulfilment--such as it now did through her sisterly regard
for Bertie--she had no regret for it in her abounding love for Frank.
And since her nature found completion in the enjoyment of the moment,
she was pleased and quite satisfied, and felt such a sunny glow in her
and about her as deserves to be called true happiness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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