"Look at me, Eva. I assure you; I swear to you there is nothing
wrong--nothing at all, but what exists in my own imagination. But, you
see, I care for you so fondly: you will let me say so, won't you? For
what I feel for you is only guileless, devoted friendship for my
friend's bride and my own little sister. I love you so truly that I
cannot help asking myself, Will my dear Eva be happy? It is a foolish
thought, no doubt; but in me it is not strange, because I am always
thinking of those I love. You see, I have known so much sorrow and
suffering. And when I see any one I care for so truly as I do for
you--see her so full of confidence in life and of fair illusions, the
thought comes over me, terrible, but irresistible: Will she be happy? Is
there, indeed, any such thing as happiness? Oh, I ought not to say such
things; I only darken your outlook, and give you pessimistic notions;
but sometimes when I see you with Frank, my heart is so full! For I love
Frank, too. I owe so much to him, and I should so gladly see him happy
with some woman--with some one--Still, I can only say, Trust wholly in
Frank. He loves you, though he is a little fickle, a little capricious
in his feelings; but he adores you. The delicate shades of a woman's
nature are above his comprehension, perhaps, and he is apt to carry his
light-heartedness a little too far--still, he means no harm. He is so
candid, so honest; you know always so exactly what he is at. And so,
Eva, dear Eva, never let any misunderstanding come between you--always
be open with each other; will you not, my child. Oh, my poor Eva!"
And he, too, sobbed low in his mysterious anguish, which was not
altogether a pretence, for he was really in despair at the prospect
before him. She looked down on him in dismay, greatly distressed by his
words, from which she inferred something which he would not reveal: each
word a drop of subtle venom, and the germ of strange doubts, which shot
up like poisonous weeds.
"Then there is nothing to tell?" she said once more, in a weary tone of
entreaty, clasping her hands.
"No, dear Eva, nothing at all. Only I am worn out, you see--quite an old
man--and so I worry myself sometimes about you two. When I am far
away--far from London--will you be happy? Tell me, Eva, will you be
happy? Promise me, swear to me that you will."
She gently nodded in the affirmative, with a sigh of regret that he must
leave London--regret for what he had suggested, worst of all for what he
had left unsaid: the mystery, the terror! He, meanwhile, had risen;
holding out his hands to her, and shaking his head, as though over the
follies of man, he said, with his most pathetic smile:
"How silly you must think me, to torment myself so about nothing. I
ought not to have said so much; perhaps I have saddened you with it
all.... Have I?"
"No," she replied with a gentle smile, shaking her head. "No, not
really."
He let himself drop into a chair, sighing deeply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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