She knelt at his feet and laid her head on his knees, sobbing bitterly.
He mechanically stroked her hair, but he did not in the least
understand. He loved his child, but his affection was more a matter of
tender habit than of sympathetic intelligence. He did not understand
her; he thought her foolish and fanciful. Was it for this that he had
given her a first-rate education, let her read all kinds of books, and
made her know the world as it was--stern, practical, and selfish, a
struggle in which each one must endeavour to conquer and secure a place
and a share of happiness, by sheer calm determination? He had his own
corner in it, with his books and his heraldry; why did she let herself
be a victim to nervous fancies? For it was all nerves--nothing but
nerves! Cursed things were nerves! How like her mother she was, in spite
of her liberal education! Dreamy, romantic, full of absurd imagination.
He speak to Frank? Why--what about--what was he to say? The lady at the
Lyceum; this woman or that, to whom he had bowed? That might happen to
any one. Eva was very absurd not to see that it might. And as to his
talking it over with Frank--why, the young man would think that his
future father-in-law was a perfect fool. There were thousands of such
women in London. Where was the young man who had no acquaintance among
them? And the picture of disturbed peace, of an unpleasant discussion,
which would destroy an hour or perhaps a day of his Olympian repose and
tear him from his studies, rose up in his brain, a terror to his
simple-minded selfishness.
"Come, Eva, this is sheer folly," he good-humouredly grumbled. "What
good do you think I can do? These are mere sickly fancies."
"No, no. They are not sickly fancies; not fancies at all. It is
something--something quite different. There is something in me, around
me--beyond my control."
"But, child, you are talking nonsense!"
"When I try to think it out, it goes away for a little while; but then
it comes back again."
"Really, Eva, you must not talk so foolishly. After all, what is this
story you have told me; what does it all mean? It comes and it goes, and
it stays away, and then again it comes and goes."
She shook her head sadly, sitting on the floor at his feet in front of
the fire.
"No, no," she said, very positively. "You do not understand, you are a
man; you do not understand all there is in a woman. We women are quite
different. But you will speak to him, will you not, and ask him all
about it?"
"No, Eva; that I certainly will not. Frank might very well ask me what
business it was of mine. You know as well as I do that every man has, or
has had, acquaintance among such women. There is nothing in that. And
Frank strikes me as too honourable to have anything to do with one of
them now that he is engaged to you. I know him too well to imagine that.
It is really too silly of you--do you hear: too silly!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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