For love and life; vol. 1 of 2Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
For love and life; vol. 1 of 2
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
She did not shed any tear or make any complaint, but acknowledged to
herself with the wonderful stoicism of the poor that it was natural,
that nothing else was to be looked for. Jean and her husband would be
kind--enough; they would give the worn-out mother food and shelter; they
would not neglect nor treat her cruelly. All complaint was silent in her
heart; but yet the events of this day were no “ploy” to her. She got up
at her usual time, late now in comparison to the busy and active past,
and came down with Jeanie’s help to the parlour, and seated herself in
the arm-chair where she had sat for so many years. There she passed the
morning very silent, spending the time with her own thoughts. She had
told Jeanie what to do, to prepare for the early dinner, which they were
all to eat together.
“You would be a good bairn,” she had said with a smile, “if you would
take it upon you to do all this, Jeanie, and say nothing to me.”
Jeanie had sense enough to take her at her word, and thus all the
morning she had been alone, sitting with eyes fixed on Benvohrlan, often
with a strange smile on her face, pondering and thinking. She had her
stocking in her hands, and knitted on and on, weaving in her musing soul
with the thread. When her daughters came in she received them very
kindly with a wistful smile, looking up into their faces, wondering if
the sight of the mother who bore them had any effect upon these women.
Still more wistfully she looked at the men who followed. Many a volume
has been written about the love of parents, the love of mothers, its
enthusiasms of hope and fancy, its adorations of the unworthy, its agony
for the lost; but I do not remember that anyone has ventured to touch
upon a still more terrible view of the subject, the disappointment, for
example, with which such a woman as I have attempted to set before the
reader--a woman full of high aspirations, noble generosities, and
perhaps an unwarrantable personal pride, all intensified by the homely
circumstances of life around her--sometimes looks upon the absolutely
commonplace people whom she has brought into the world. She, too, has
had her dreams about them while they were children and all things seemed
possible--while they were youths with still some grace and freshness of
the morning veiling their unheroic outlines. But a woman of seventy can
cherish no fond delusions about her middle-aged sons and daughters who
are to all intents and purposes as old as she is. What a dismal sense of
failure must come into such a woman’s heart while she looks at them!
Perhaps this is one reason why grandfathers and grandmothers throw
themselves so eagerly into the new generation, by means of which human
nature can always go on deceiving itself. Heavens! what a difference
between the ordinary man or woman at fifty, and that ideal creature
which he, or she, appeared to the mother’s eyes at fifteen! The old
people gaze and gaze to see our old features in us; and who can express
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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