She watched his face as he told her. She had found him exceedingly good
company during the seven years that she had known him. They had slipped
into their friendship so easily and so naturally that she had never
taken herself to task about it in any way; it existed as a very
delightful accompaniment to the day's worries and disappointments. She
suddenly realised now with a little surprised shock how bitterly she
would miss it all were it to cease. In the darkened room, with the storm
blowing outside, she felt her loneliness with an acute wave of emotion
and self-pity that was very unlike her. If Peter were to go, she felt,
she could scarcely endure to live on in the dreary building.
Part of his charm from the beginning had been that he was so
astoundingly young, part of his interest that he could be, at times, so
amazingly old. She felt that she herself could be equal neither to his
youth nor his age. She was herself so ordinary a person, but watching
him made the most fascinating occupation, and speculating over his
future made the most wonderful dreams. That he was a personality, that
he might do anything, she had always believed, but there had, until now,
been no proof of it in any work that he had done ... he had had nothing
to show ... now at last there lay there, with her in the room, the
evidence of her belief--his book.
But the book seemed now, at this moment, of small account and, as
she watched him, with the candle-light and the last flicker of the
fire-light upon his face, she saw that he had forgotten her and was back
again, soul and spirit, amongst the things of which he was speaking.
His voice was low and monotonous, his eyes staring straight in front of
him, his hands, spread on his knees, gripped the cloth of his trousers.
She would not admit to herself that she was frightened, but her heart
was beating very fast and it was as though some stranger were with her
in the room. It may have been the effect of the candlelight, blowing
now in the wind that came through the cracks in the window panes, but it
seemed to her that Peter's face was changed. His face had lines that
had not been there before, his mouth was thinner and harder and his eyes
were old and tired ... she had never seen the man before, that was her
impression.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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