He was, indeed, during this year, a charming Peter. He loved her with
the hero worship of a boy, but also with a humour, a consciousness of
success, a happy freedom that denied all mawkish sham sentiment. He
studied only to please her. He found that, after all, she did not care
very greatly for literature or music or pictures. Her enthusiasm
for these things was the enthusiasm of a child who is bathed in an
atmosphere of appreciation and would return it on to any object that she
could find.
He discovered that she loved compliments, that she cared about dress,
that she loved to have crowds of friends about her, and that parties
excited her as though these were the first that she had ever known. But
he found, too, that in those half-hours when she was alone with him
she showed her love for him with a passion and emphasis that was almost
terrifying. Sometimes when she clung to him it was as though she
was afraid that it was not going to last. He discovered in the very
beginning that below all her happy easy life, an undercurrent of
apprehension, sometimes only vaguely felt, sometimes springing into
sight like the eyes of some beast in the dark, kept company with her.
It was always the future--a perfectly vague, indefinite future that
terrified her. Every moment of her life had been sheltered and happy
and, by reason of that very shelter, her fears had grown upon her. He
remembered one evening when they had been present at some party and she
had been radiant, beautiful, in his eyes divine. Her little body had
been strung to its utmost energy, she had whirled through the evening
and at last as they returned in the cab, she had laid her head on his
shoulder and suddenly flung her arms about him and kissed him--his eyes,
his cheeks, his mouth--again and again. “Oh! I'm so safe with you, Peter
dear,” she had cried to him.
He loved those evenings when they were alone and she would sit on the
floor with her head on his knee and her hand against his. Then suddenly
she would lean back and pull his head down and kiss his eyes, and then
very slowly let him go. And the fierceness, the passion of her love
for him roused in him a strength of devotion that all the years of
unhappiness had been storing. He was still only a boy--the first married
year brought his twenty-seventh birthday--but his love for Clare had the
depth and reserve that belongs to a man.
Mrs. Launce, watching them both, was sometimes frightened. “God help
them both if anything interferes,” she said once to her husband. “I've
seen that boy look at Clare with a devotion that hurts. Peter's no
ordinary mortal--I wonder, now and again, whether Clare's worth it all.”
But this year seemed to silence all her fears. The happiness of that
little house shone through Chelsea. “Oh, we're dining with the Westcotts
to-night--they'll cheer us up--they're always so happy”--“Oh! did you
see Clare Westcott? I never saw any one so radiant.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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