England, Northern -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Jews -- Fiction
School was wearying beyond words. Not a chance gleam of gold filtered
through the pall of cloud. Miss Tibbet's mouth opened; then it closed.
It would have been an incident, even if you could have seen her eyelids
blink beyond her spectacles. She taught poetry as she taught vulgar
fractions. A mad impulse began to seize upon Philip. He must separate
his own lips further, wider, more hilariously than ever Miss Tibbet was
capable. Then to deliver himself of one prolonged shout--no more. One
prolonged shout which would cleave a path through the clouds of
monotony wherethrough the dizzy horses of adventure might come tumbling
from the spacious blue winds beyond. Not a shout of pain or of
desperation. A shout merely from the whole capacity of his lungs, a
human shout, a challenge of the body in ennui.
His lips opened trembling. Miss Tibbet's spectacles swept blankly
towards his face. He bent down over his paper. The impulse waxed
within him and became a passion. He began to say to himself that the
whole future of his life depended upon his courage. If he did not open
his lips and yell he would be one thing. If he did open his lips and
yell, he would be another thing, and a bigger, freer thing. One day he
stretched his jaws to make the effort. The back of his mouth was
crammed with sand. He lifted his hand as if to hide a yawn.
A mystic conviction took possession of him. If he had any value, that
shout would be achieved. But its agent would be something greater than
himself. Prepared or unprepared for it, the shout would come, if he
was worthy.
It was a very hot afternoon. Miss Tibbet croaked at the blackboard
like a machine. A desultory dog was barking somewhere with insensate
yelps. The geranium before the closed windows drooped in the heat.
Flies were droning aimlessly.
A huge shout swept suddenly into every corner of the room, slapped Miss
Tibbet's face like the palm of a hand. There was an intense silence.
All eyes turned to Philip's face, which was flushed furiously red,
unhappy, exultant.
"Philip Massel, stand up!" He shuffled to his feet.
"Was it you who made that noise?"
"Yes, Miss Tibbet!"
"Why did you make that noise?"
"I don't know!"
"Did somebody stick a pin into you?"
"No!"
"Did anybody stick a pin into Philip Massel?"
No reply.
Here was something entirely beyond Miss Tibbet's experience.
"Will the monitors keep order, please, while I take this boy to the
head master!"
Philip knew that sooner or later he would burst into tears. But a
great load was off his mind. He was free, he was free! For one moment
of dizzy elation a pang of that emotion struck him which long ago made
him tremble on a locker in Miss Green's room before the fateful
question--"Tell me, Philip, which would you rather be, Jew or
Christian?" The sheer poignancy passed, but something of his elation
remained, even in the cadaverous sanctum of the head master.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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