Fantasy fiction, English; Horror tales, English; Supernatural -- Fiction
Among the things that he _knew_, and therefore never cared to speak or
speculate about, one was that he plainly saw himself as the inheritor
of a long series of past lives, the net result of painful evolution,
always as himself, of course, but in numerous different bodies each
determined by the behaviour of the preceding one. The present John Jones
was the last result to date of all the previous thinking, feeling,
and doing of John Jones in earlier bodies and in other centuries. He
pretended to no details, nor claimed distinguished ancestry, for he
realised his past must have been utterly commonplace and insignificant
to have produced his present; but he was just as sure he had been at
this weary game for ages as that he breathed, and it never occurred to
him to argue, to doubt, or to ask questions. And one result of this
belief was that his thoughts dwelt upon the past rather than upon the
future; that he read much history, and felt specially drawn to certain
periods whose spirit he understood instinctively as though he had lived
in them; and that he found all religions uninteresting because, almost
without exception, they start from the present and speculate ahead as to
what men shall become, instead of looking back and speculating why men
have got here as they are.
In the insurance office he did his work exceedingly well, but without
much personal ambition. Men and women he regarded as the impersonal
instruments for inflicting upon him the pain or pleasure he had earned
by his past workings, for chance had no place in his scheme of things at
all; and while he recognised that the practical world could not get
along unless every man did his work thoroughly and conscientiously, he
took no interest in the accumulation of fame or money for himself, and
simply, therefore, did his plain duty, with indifference as to results.
In common with others who lead a strictly impersonal life, he possessed
the quality of utter bravery, and was always ready to face any
combination of circumstances, no matter how terrible, because he saw in
them the just working-out of past causes he had himself set in motion
which could not be dodged or modified. And whereas the majority of
people had little meaning for him, either by way of attraction or
repulsion, the moment he met some one with whom he felt his past had
been _vitally_ interwoven his whole inner being leapt up instantly and
shouted the fact in his face, and he regulated his life with the utmost
skill and caution, like a sentry on watch for an enemy whose feet could
already be heard approaching.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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