Fräulein Schmidt and Mr. AnstrutherVon Arnim, Elizabeth
General
Fräulein Schmidt and Mr. Anstruther
Von Arnim, Elizabeth
British -- Germany -- Fiction; Epistolary fiction; Germany -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
It was too sweet of you to compare me to Nausicaa in your letter
yesterday. Nobody ever did that before. Various aunts, among whom a few
years ago there was a great mortality, so that they are all now aunts in
heaven, told me in divers tones that I was much too long for my width,
that I was like the handle of a broom, like the steeple of the
_Stadtkirche_, like a tree walking; but none of them ever said anything
about Nausicaa. I doubt if they had ever heard of her. I'm afraid if
they had they wouldn't have seen that I am like her. You know the
blindness of aunts. Jena is full of them (not mine, _Gott sei Dank_, but
other people's) and they are all stone-blind. I don't mean, of course,
that the Jena streets are thick with aunts being led by dogs on strings,
but that they have that tragic blindness of the spirit that misses
seeing things that are hopeful and generous and lovely; things alight
with young enthusiasms, or beautiful with a patience that has had time
to grow gray. They also have that odd, unfurnished sort of mind that can
never forget and never forgive. Yesterday at the _Kaffee-Klatsch_ I met
them all again, the Jena aunts I know so well and who are yet for ever
strange, for ever of a ghastly freshness. It was the first this season,
and now I suppose I shall waste many a good afternoon _klatsch_ing. How
I wish I had not to go. My step-mother says that if I do not show myself
I shall be put down as eccentric. 'You are not very popular,' says she,
'as it is. Do not, therefore, make matters worse.' Then she appeals,
should a more than usual stubbornness cloud my open countenance, to
Papa. 'Ferdinand,' she says, 'shall she not, then, do as others of her
age?' And of course Papa says, bless him, that girls must see life
occasionally, and is quite unhappy if I won't. Life? God bless him for a
dear, innocent Papa. And how they talked yesterday. Papa would have
writhed. He never will talk or listen to talk about women unless they've
been dead some time, so uninteresting, so unworthy of discussion does he
consider all live females except Johanna to be. And if I hadn't had my
love-letter (I took it with me tucked inside my dress, where my heart
could beat against it), I don't think I would have survived that
_Klatsch._ You've no idea how proudly I set out. Hadn't I just been
reading the sweetest things about myself in your letter? Of course I was
proud. And I felt so important, and so impressive, and simply gloriously
good-tempered. The pavement of Jena, I decided as I walked over it, was
quite unworthy to be touched by my feet; and if the passers-by only knew
it, an extremely valuable person was in their midst. In fact, my dear
Roger, I fancied myself yesterday. Didn't Odysseus think Nausicaa was
Artemis when first he met her among the washing, so god-like did she
appear? Well, I felt god-like yesterday, made god-like by your love. I
actually fancied people would _see_ something wonderful had happened to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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