“I will think that you are my own husband, Mark; I will think
that—that chiefly, whatever it may be.” And then she caressed his
knees, and looked up in his face, and, getting hold of one of his
hands, pressed it between her own. “Even if you have been foolish,
who should forgive you if I cannot?”
And then he told it her all, beginning from that evening when Mr.
Sowerby had got him into his bedroom, and going on gradually, now
about the bills, and now about the horses, till his poor wife was
utterly lost in the complexity of the accounts. She could by no
means follow him in the details of his story; nor could she quite
sympathize with him in his indignation against Mr. Sowerby, seeing
that she did not comprehend at all the nature of the renewing of a
bill. The only part to her of importance in the matter was the amount
of money which her husband would be called upon to pay;—that and
her strong hope, which was already a conviction, that he would never
again incur such debts.
“And how much is it, dearest, altogether?”
“These men claim nine hundred pounds of me.”
“Oh, dear! that is a terrible sum.”
“And then there is the hundred and fifty which I have borrowed from
the bank—the price of the horse, you know; and there are some other
debts,—not a great deal, I think; but people will now look for every
shilling that is due to them. If I have to pay it all, it will be
twelve or thirteen hundred pounds.”
“That will be as much as a year’s income, Mark; even with the stall.”
That was the only word of reproach she said,—if that could be called
a reproach.
“Yes,” he said; “and it is claimed by men who will have no pity in
exacting it at any sacrifice, if they have the power. And to think
that I should have incurred all this debt without having received
anything for it. Oh, Fanny, what will you think of me!”
But she swore to him that she would think nothing of it;—that she
would never bear it in her mind against him,—that it could have no
effect in lessening her trust in him. Was he not her husband? She was
so glad she knew it, that she might comfort him. And she did comfort
him, making the weight seem lighter and lighter on his shoulders
as he talked of it. And such weights do thus become lighter. A
burden that will crush a single pair of shoulders will, when equally
divided—when shared by two, each of whom is willing to take the
heavier part—become light as a feather. Is not that sharing of the
mind’s burdens one of the chief purposes for which a man wants a
wife? For there is no folly so great as keeping one’s sorrows hidden.
And this wife cheerfully, gladly, thankfully took her share. To
endure with her lord all her lord’s troubles was easy to her; it was
the work to which she had pledged herself. But to have thought that
her lord had troubles not communicated to her—that would have been
to her the one thing not to be borne.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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