WALTER. You would have sufficient confidence in the project, sir, to try the experiment on your wife? FER. Damme, sir, that's my difficulty. I should have to bring her round again to prove the success of the discovery; and I've a perfect horror of matrimony. MR. W. Upon my soul, you know, this strikes me as being exceedingly interesting, and I really think that some one ought, in the cause of humanity, to come forward and submit himself to the experiment. FER. My dear uncle, you charm me. You evidently mean to place yourself in the light of the felon of the family whom I hoped to find; and, considering that you are not a felon, I really take it very kindly. When shall I inject-- MR. W. No, no, Ferdinand; don't misunderstand me. As a man, and as a father, I don't feel justified in suspending my animation even for a minute. No one knows what might happen during that minute; it might be necessary to realize an investment, or to indorse a check, or,--in fact, I couldn't forgive myself if anything went wrong while I was indulging in the mere gratification of a whim. But it has struck me that your aunt-- FER. My aunt! We couldn't hit on a better subject. I should inject my fluid into the lobe of the right ear; I should light a cigar, and, by the time the cigar was finished, I should think of injecting the other fluid into the lobe of the left ear, and of resuscitating the patient. MR. W. (_excitedly_). Oh, you would light a cigar, would you? FER. Well, yes, I think so. MR. W. And naturally you would ask me to smoke with you? FER. Well, yes, naturally. MR. W. (_earnestly_). Ferdinand, do you like a glass of good wine with a cigar? FER. Well, naturally, yes. MR. W. Ferdinand, I feel that it is my duty to help you in this worthy enterprise. I have explained why I cannot myself become a subject for your experiments; but I do think that your aunt-- FER. My dear uncle, do you think you could induce her-- MR. W. For Heaven's sake, do not talk of inducement, or you will spoil all. I say advisedly _all_. It must be done by compulsion, or say rather, tact. FER. Certainly, uncle, say rather, tact. Only tell me how to show tact. MR. W. (_hurriedly_). Listen. Your aunt has lately, to do her justice, suffered from neuralgia. In common with the majority of her sex, she is willing to try any absurd remedy which is suggested to her. Tell her that a drop of your fluid injected into the lobe of the right ear will cure neuralgia, and she will take it like a lamb. FER. Best of uncles, this is glorious. How shall I thank you? MR. W. I only make _one_ condition. FER. And that is? MR. W. Don't unsuspend her until the smell of our--I mean _your_ cigar, has passed off. FER. I give you my word. MR. W. And remember, I am only induced to make this temporary sacrifice of my own happiness in the interests of science. FER. And of your nephew?