OFFICER. How do you pronounce it? PERCY. Gás-ton. (_Emphasis on the first syllable_) OFFICER. Very good. I’ll start an investigation. PERCY. Yes, you’d better go at once. Besides, this gentleman is rather tired. OFFICER. Good-morning, sir. (_He goes out, center_) CHANOINE-MALHERBE. Qu’est-ce qu’il a dit?--Qu’est-ce qu’il a dit? PERCY. Oui, oui. CHANOINE-MALHERBE. Oui, oui, oui--la paix! CASHIER. What’s he saying? PERCY. Nothing at all. CASHIER. He seems to be disturbed about something. PERCY. We shouldn’t bother him. He says to let him alone. CHANOINE-MALHERBE. Quel mauvais interprète! CASHIER. Now what’s he saying? CHANOINE-MALHERBE. (_Looking at his dictionary_) Ig-no-rant In-ter-pre-ter! CASHIER. He means “ignorant.” You are an ignorant interpreter! But I thought---- PERCY. No, no, no--Ig-no-rant in French means--Oh, if you only knew what that meant! CHANOINE-MALHERBE. (_To_ CASHIER _as he goes out, center_) Oh, là, là! Un pareil hôtel, et un pareil interprète! CASHIER. He is disturbed, isn’t he? PERCY. Not at all, he’s charmed. That’s the way with the French. CASHIER. Wait a moment. Stay here while I’m gone. (_She goes out, up-stage right_) (_Enter_ SÉRAPHINE _up-stage right_.) SÉRAPHINE. M. l’Interprète! PERCY. (_Pretending to have a sore throat_) Sore throat--can’t talk. SÉRAPHINE. Ah, then you cannot speak? PERCY. (_Forgetting about his throat_) Oh, you can speak English! Why didn’t you say so at first? SÉRAPHINE. Now you can speak. Eh bien, parlez---- PERCY. (_Coughs_) Not at all well. It’s a little better. Don’t mention it. SÉRAPHINE. Ya-t-il un bureau de télégraphes près d’ici? PERCY. What’s the good of talking French when you can speak English so well? That’s no way to learn a language. SÉRAPHINE. I cannot speak well the English. PERCY. All the more reason why you shouldn’t speak French. I warn you, I refuse to answer when you speak French. SÉRAPHINE. All right. I tell you--(_She catches sight of her father’s hat on the table_) Oh! PERCY. What’s the matter? SÉRAPHINE. Who is that gray hat? PERCY. A Frenchman left it here a moment ago. SÉRAPHINE. (_Examining the hat_) Oh, c’est le chapeau de mon père! PERCY. Certainly. SÉRAPHINE. I’m going to my room. PERCY. That’s a good idea. (SÉRAPHINE _goes out, up-stage right. Enter_ GERALD, _center_.) GERALD. Interprète. PERCY. This is getting a bit too warm for me! (_He turns to_ GERALD _with an air of defiance_) You frog-eating beggar---- GERALD. Frog-eater yourself, you blasted bloke from Clerkenwall---- PERCY. (_Effusively, to_ GERALD _as he hastens to shake hands with him_) Ah, you speak _English_! You know I’m a little shaky on my French, though of course I know German, Russian, Chinese, Turkish, Spanish---- GERALD. You know Spanish?--Que hora son? PERCY. (_Laughs_) Well, I was saying---- GERALD. But I asked you a question. Que hora son? Well? PERCY. Do you want an immediate answer?