Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
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Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
The captain curled, at the same time, his lip and his moustache, his
bearing conveying the scorn which he doubtless felt.
"If you suppose, sir, that I shall allow you to play the common bully
with impunity, you are mistaken. You forget yourself, my man!"
"Oh, no! I don't forget myself--it's you who forgot yourself. And as
for playing the common bully, it's you began it. You're trying to
bully me when you taunt me with Jim Bailey being my relation; you
think if you keep it on long enough you'll frighten me into acting
against my sense of duty."
The foreman intervened sharply: "Order! Mr. Longsett, your language is
improper and irregular; if you are not careful I shall have to report
it to the court."
"It's no more improper and irregular than theirs is. We're here to say
guilty or not guilty, not to pry into each other's private affairs. If
they don't make no personal remarks, I shan't."
"Listen to reason, Mr. Longsett. Do I understand, Mr. Plummer, that
you will acquiesce in a verdict of guilty if we prefer a
recommendation to the court that the case shall be treated under the
First Offenders Act?"
"You are at liberty to so understand, Mr. Grice."
"And you, Mr. Longsett? If we are unable to agree the prisoner will
have to go back to prison, and, on his again standing his trial, I
have no hesitation in saying that he will be found guilty, when he
will be likely to receive much less lenient treatment than now, when
we are ready and willing to recommend him to mercy."
"We're going to agree."
"That's good hearing. You agree to a verdict of guilty, coupled with a
recommendation to mercy?"
"I don't do nothing of the kind."
"Then what do you agree to?"
"I agree to a verdict of not guilty--that's what I agree to."
"Then, in that case, we're likely to disagree. You can hardly expect
eleven men to go against the weight of evidence for the sake of
agreeing with you."
"There's no hurry that I knows on. We'll wait a bit. I have heard of
juries being locked up for eight-and-forty hours. I daresay before
that time some of you'll have changed your minds. Seems to me that
there's three or four already that can change their minds as easy as
winking." He began, with a certain amount of ostentation, to untie the
string which bound his brown paper parcel. "I'm getting peckish. If
you don't mind, Mr. Foreman, we'll talk things over while I'm eating."
The unfolding of the paper revealed the fact that it contained a
comfortable number of succulent-looking sandwiches. The eleven eyed
them--and their owner--sourly. Carefully taking the top one of the
heap between his finger and his thumb Mr. Longsett took a bite at it.
Seldom has the process of attacking a sandwich had a more attentive
audience.
"I say, Jacob," observed Mr. Timmins, "aren't you going to give me
one?"
"What, give you the food from between my own lips! Not if I know it.
We may be here till this time to-morrow. I've got to think of myself,
Mr. Timmins."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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