Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious — John Shaqi
Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
General
Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"I'm not going to stop here till this time to-morrow, Jacob Longsett!"
As he spoke old Parkes banged his fist upon the table.
"All right, George Parkes, nobody asked you to, so far as I know.
Seems to me you're uncommon keen to send the lad to gaol."
"I don't wish the lad no harm."
"Seems to me as how you do."
"I say I don't!"
Mr. Parkes punctuated each of his remarks with a bang upon the board.
"Then why don't you do what you've sworn to do, and bring him in not
guilty along of me?"
"I don't care what I brings him in. It don't make no odds to me. It
ain't none of my affair. I've got my own business to 'tend to, and
when a man's got to my years he don't care to meddle in no one else's.
I'm willing to bring him in not guilty along of you, Jacob Longsett."
"That's more like it. If there was more like you and me, George
Parkes, we'd soon be outside of this."
Captain Rudd, who had listened to this short dialogue without evincing
any signs of approbation, once more endeavoured to urge the foreman to
action.
"Don't you think, Mr. Foreman, that the time has arrived for you to
communicate the fact of our disagreement to the court?"
Mr. Longsett made haste to differ.
"Excuse me, Mr. Foreman, but, if Captain Rudd will allow me, I don't
think it has. We haven't been here hardly any time. There's no hurry,
so long as we're doing our duty. I daresay we'll all agree yet before
we've finished. All we want is a little patience."
"And something to eat," said Mr. Timmins.
"Then do you mean to say," exclaimed Mr. Longsett, as he commenced
upon another sandwich, "that you'd send a young lad to gaol, and blast
his good name for ever, just because you're hungry?"
"May I be permitted to make a remark?" The inquiry came from Mr.
Tyler. He was holding his handkerchief to his ear; his general
expression was one of suffering. "Considering how little of the
evidence I really heard I don't wish it to be supposed that I have any
objection to a verdict of not guilty. And I may add that not only is
my earache driving me nearly mad, but my health, as a whole, as some
of you know, is bad, and I am easily exhausted. Had I supposed that
any of this sort of thing would have taken place I should have
procured a medical certificate excusing me. I appeal to gentlemen to
arrive as rapidly as possible at a decision, which will enable me to
obtain measures of relief."
"Hear, hear!" Mr. Longsett rapped with his knuckles on the table.
"I'd never have come," declared old Parkes, "if I'd a known I was
going to be kep' all day without my dinner. When a man gets to my
years he wants his victuals regular. I didn't have hardly no
breakfast, and I ain't had nothing since."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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