Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
The gravel-walk beneath his feet
Cannot too sudden ope’,
To gather in the wretch, who mourns
The death of every hope.
The swallows, whispering in a row,
Seem mocking at his tear,
And in the cawing of the crow
He seems to catch a sneer;
The cattle grazing in the field
Awhile their lunch delay,
To gaze at him, who moves along
In such a listless way.
Perhaps he’ll know a thousand griefs
Ere death has laid him low.
Perhaps, beside an open grave,
He’ll shed the tear of woe;
Perhaps he’ll turn him from the sods
That hide a mother’s face,
A father’s smile, a brother’s hand,
Or sister’s buried grace;
But there can hardly come a time
When life will look so drear,
Or can so little reason show
Why he should linger here.
A NIGHT OF TERROR.
I am not the oldest inhabitant, and don’t know what sort of storms they
used to have here before the flood; but I’ll wager a corner lot against
a plug of tobacco, that this section, for the last twenty years, has not
snoozed through a rougher night than the one just past.
It would have been a glorious night for a revivalist to stir up the
masses. Converts would have crowded in like grists to a mill after
harvest. Since the last great earthquake I have not felt so much concern
about my future state as I did about twelve o’clock last night. I arose
from bed, and went to rummaging books, trying to find the description of
a storm that would equal ours. I found the tempest that Tam O’Shanter
faced the night he discovered the witches, and the one in which King
Lear was cavorting around, bare-headed, and that which made Cæsar take
an account of stock and turn to interpreting dreams, and jumbled them
all together; but the product was unequal to the fury that was raging
without. There was no more similarity than a baby’s rattle bears to a
Chinese gong.
[Illustration: A ROUSING EVENT.]
Then I fished out the storm that howled while Macbeth was murdering
Duncan, and tumbled it in with the others. This addition made things
about even. The “lamentations heard i’ the air” of Macbeth’s tempest
were a fair precedent of the clamorous uproar from the fire bell in the
City Hall tower. Only an earthquake was lacking to enable us to say,
“The earth was feverous, and did shake,” or boast a night outvieing four
of the roughest on record, all woven into one.
It had one good effect, however—one for which poison and boot-jacks have
been tried in vain: it did silence the dogs and cats. Their midnight
carousals were as rare as they were in Paris just before the
capitulation. Quarrelsome curs postponed the settlement of their little
differences and defiant barks until such times as they would be able to
discover themselves whether they barked or yawned, and cats sought other
places besides a fellow’s window-sill to express opinions about each
other or chant their tales of love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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