Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
This article must be embellished with a faithful sketch of the boy who
stood at the head of his class. How he felt at that moment, I couldn’t
say, never having any experience in the position myself. He looked happy
and confident, however, and snapped eagerly at the words as they fell
from the teacher’s lips, much as a hungry dog does at the crumbs falling
from a table. But my sympathies were decidedly with the little
contortionist who stood mournfully at the foot of her class. I knew how
that was myself. I had been “yar,” and I regretted I wasn’t a
ventriloquist, that I might from afar whisper in her ear, and assist her
over some clogging syllables. If she could have gone into the yard,
where I noticed a scholar of the senior class throwing herself in a
delirium of joy, brought about by a skipping-rope, she would probably
have acquitted herself in a creditable manner, and won the praise of
all, for however inferior a person may be to another in some matters,
when they can choose their game they often reverse the order, and
peradventure the poor stammering scholar could have skipped the skirts
off those jogging ahead of her in the common speller.
THE REJECTED SUITOR.
Not often does a sadder sight
Wake sympathetic strain,
Than glimpse of some rejected wight
Whose suit has proved in vain;
Who often pinched necessities
For bouquets, sweet and rare,
For tickets to the carnival,
The opera, or fair;
[Illustration: A SUITOR NON-SUITED.]
Whose pocket oft was visited
The candy box to fill;
The dollar spent that should have gone
To pay his laundry bill.
Especially the case is sad,
If he who seeks a wife
Has, step by step, encroached upon
The shady side of life.
The fly no darker prospect views
That in the inkstand peers,
Than he, whose unrequited love
Must leak away in tears.
At such a time how ill the smile
Becomes the rival face;
The “ha, ha, ha’s!” the winks and nods,
Seem sadly out of place.
And then comparisons are drawn
At the expense, no doubt,
Of him whose overflowing cup
Seems full enough without.
While he who moves away, alas!
Of every grace so free,
To criticism opens wide
The door, as all may see.
His mind is not reflecting now
On fashions, style, or art,
On proper pace, or rules of grace;
But on his slighted heart.
He now but sees his promised joys
All foundering in his view,
His castles tumbling down, that high
In brighter moments grew.
To know that now those ruby lips
Another’s mouth will press,
And now that soft and soothing hand
Another’s brow caress,—
Oh, dark before, and dark behind,
And full of woe and pain
Is life to him, whose heavy loss
Makes up a rival’s gain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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