Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society: A condensed but thorough treatise on etiquette and its usages in America, containing plain and reliable directions for deportment in every situation in life.Frost, S. Annie (Sarah Annie)
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Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society: A condensed but thorough treatise on etiquette and its usages in America, containing plain and reliable directions for deportment in every situation in life.
Frost, S. Annie (Sarah Annie)
Etiquette -- United States
If the dinner is _a la Russe_, there will not be any carving done
on the table itself.
If the party is small, mere _en famille_, the hostess will have a
dish before her, the contents of which will have to be carved. The
gentleman on her right hand should in that case offer to carve for
her, but if she declines, should not press the offer. Many ladies
are excellent carvers, and like to appear so.
There is no space in our little volume for directions upon
carving, nor do they form any portion of the art of etiquette. All
that etiquette has to say on the subject is that you must not
stand up to carve; you must not pursue the bird, joint or whatever
the meat may be, all round the dish; nor should you comment upon
the age of the fowl, the toughness of the meat or your own
awkwardness in carving. If you really do not understand it, do not
attempt it; say so and let the waiter cut it up.
Never be helped twice to soup or fish, and indeed it appears low
bred to be twice served to any one dish. You may refuse either
soup or fish, but make no comment if you do, as to your liking or
dislike for the dish, nor is it incumbent upon you to state that
"soup does not agree with you," or that "fish always make you
ill;" any such remarks are rude. Simply to say "no, thank you," in
refusing a dish, is all the reply that strict etiquette will allow
upon the subject.
No remarks should be made by the host or hostess on the refusal of
a guest to partake of a proffered dish. Pressing the food upon a
guest with "Oh, do take some," or "You must, it was made by so-
and-so," or indeed any remark upon the repast, is not only
annoying to the guest, but a proof of low-breeding in the
entertainers. There is a sort of hospitality about it, but it is a
rough barbarism. Who does not remember the description of Bridget
Elias' hospitable _gaucherie_ in Charles Lamb's "Poor Relation,"
when urging the poor relation to eat with the speech: "Do take
some more; remember you do not get pudding every day."
Never should a host or hostess apologize for the fare set before
their guest. Such apologies are generally a mere fishing for
compliment, untrue and in entirely bad taste. In inviting his
friends to dinner, the host binds himself to set before them the
best his house and purse can afford, and if the fare is good the
guest will soon find it out, if bad, no apologies will make it any
better.
It is in bad taste to apologize to the waiters for the trouble
given them, and betrays a lamentable ignorance of the customs of
society. They are hired to wait upon the guests, and it is no
affair of those guests how they feel, as long as they discharge
their duty. To reprove a waiter is the height of ill-breeding.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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