_Chat._ Because thy head is broken, was it I that it broke? I saw thee, Rat, I tell thee, not once within this fortnight. _Doctor Rat._ No, marry, thou sawest me not; for why thou hadst no light; But I felt thee for all the dark, beshrew thy smooth cheeks! And thou groped me, this will declare any day this six weeks. [_Showing his head._ _Baily._ Answer me to this, Mast Rat: when caught you this harm of yours? _Doctor Rat._ A while ago, sir, God he knoweth, within less than these two hours. _Baily._ Dame Chat, was there none with you (confess, i' faith) about that season? What, woman? let it be what it will, 'tis neither felony nor treason. _Chat._ Yes, by my faith, Master Baily, there was a knave not far Who caught one good filip on the brow with a door-bar, And well was he worthy, as it seemed to me; But what is that to this man, since this was not he? _Baily._ Who was it then? let's hear! _Doctor Rat._ Alas, sir, ask you that? Is it not made plain enough by the own mouth of dame Chat? The time agreeth, my head is broken, her tongue cannot lie, Only upon a bare nay she saith it was not I. _Chat._ No, marry, was it not indeed! ye shall hear by this one thing: This afternoon a friend of mine for good-will gave me warning, And bad me well look to my roost, and all my capons' pens, For if I took not better heed, a knave would have my hens. Then I, to save my goods, took so much pains as him to watch; And as good fortune served me, it was my chance him for to catch. What strokes he bare away, or other what was his gains, I wot not, but sure I am he had something for his pains! _Baily._ Yet tell'st thou not who it was. _Chat._ Who it was? A false thief, That came like a false fox, my pullen to kill and mischief! _Baily._ But knowest thou not his name? _Chat._ I know it, but what than? It was that crafty cullion Hodge, my Gammer Gurton's man. _Baily._ Call me the knave hither, he shall sure kiss the stocks. I shall teach him a lesson for filching hens or cocks! _Doctor Rat._ I marvel, Master Baily, so bleared be your eyes; An egg is not so full of meat, as she is full of lies: When she hath played this prank, to excuse all this gear, She layeth the fault in such a one as I know was not there. _Chat._ Was he not there? look on his pate, that shall be his witness! _Doctor Rat._ I would my head were half so whole; I would seek no redress! _Baily._ God bless you, Gammer Gurton! _Gammer._ God 'eild ye, master mine! _Baily._ Thou hast a knave within thy house--Hodge, a servant of thine; They tell me that busy knave is such a filching one, That hen, pig, goose or capon, thy neighbour can have none. _Gammer._ By God, cham much a-meved to hear any such report! Hodge was not wont, ich trow, to have him in that sort.