On occasions when a group of them gathered at their club they stepped
partly out of the characterizations of great men which they affected
during most of their day. Drinking, taking their turns telling stories
or pointing up incidents by the "did you ever hear the one about the
Swede who went to a picnic with his best girl" method, they always
welcomed Judge Smith. They were inclined to overlook a few things in his
favor. If he did seem to have an unnecessary fund of smutty tales, there
was on the other hand the fact that he was a judge and therefore above
the anecdotes he told. Like the judge, they too were men with firmly
rooted convictions on the subject of morality and if they laughed at
stories over their highballs that flouted decency and made a mock of
virtue there was this exonerating factor to be considered. Men sure of
themselves and subscribing unflinchingly to the uncompromising standards
of conduct necessary to maintain the morale of the community, such men
could without danger unbend among themselves. For morality was in its
deepest sense, the protection of others and not of one's self.
As the group thinned out on such occasions Judge Smith would rise and in
the manner of a man returning to the higher and more important duties of
life bid his fellows good-night.
"A very pleasant evening, gentlemen," he would pronounce, "but duty
calls."
He would bow stiffly. Long drinking had made him master to an
astonishing point of his physical being while under the influence of
drink. Bowing, he would walk with dignity from the room, emerge into the
street and enter one of the cabs.
A half-hour later would find him disporting himself in one of his
favorite disorderly houses. Here with the aid of further drink the judge
became a curious spectacle. He was generally hailed in the places that
knew him as "the wild old boy". And his arrival although greeted with
enthusiasm was a matter of secret chagrin to the landladies of his
acquaintance.
It was his habit to indulge in filthy insults, hurling astounding
obscenities at the half-drunken inmates. He would frequently become
violent and throw bottles around, break mirrors and electric bulbs and
smash chairs. It was difficult to grow angry with him at such times
because he covered his violences and insults with a continuous roar of
laughter as if they were actually the product of a vast Rabelaisian good
humor.
His insults, the obscene invective he hurled at the partners in his
orgy, were a curious phase. They were the product of a process of
projection. His normal mind, still alive under the paralysis of alcohol,
pronounced these outraged denunciations of his behavior against himself.
His virtue and decency cried a savage disgust and he must rid himself of
these cries, find an outlet for his self-revulsions, if he desired to
continue the debauch which was also an outlet for things inside
him--things that slept too violently under the repressions of his shell.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account