Then, too, there would be a feeling of intense secrecy about it, a sort
of blasphemous secrecy. When an ordinary man kissed her, that was of
course, a secret. But if a famous man should kiss her, a man like
Aubrey, that would be a super-secret. A violation of something
remarkable. It would be a thing concealed not merely from her family and
from the vague circle of friends who might be interested, but from
millions of people who knew Aubrey and who would be tremendously
interested in everything he did. She would be giving herself to a public
figure and yet the thing she was doing would be marvelously concealed
from the public. And so she would be able to enjoy the thrill of
demonstromania--of being taken by someone who was not an individual like
Keegan but a man who was part of other people's minds--and at the same
time she would be able to enjoy the thrill of defiant intimacy; the
knowledge that the people in whose minds the name Aubrey Gilchrist was
alive would be ignorant of what she was doing to the man they admired.
All this would be a sharpening of pleasure by the consciousness of
wholesale deceit, wholesale intimacy.
These intuitions whose articulation would have been entirely
unintelligable to Fanny sent the delicious tremble through her body.
Immediately the two separate Aubreys of her mind focussed into one and
she lost both her amusement and her awe of him. She sat regarding him
with a timid smile designed to arouse his curiosity. As yet he had
ignored her, his eyes seeking out Henrietta when the annexation debate
waned.
Basine had diverted the talk into literary channels by inquiring,
apropos of nothing, whether anyone had read a book by a man named
Meredith. He had found it in Doris' room one evening and glanced through
it. Seeking now for further material with which to discomfit Aubrey he
had remembered the volume. He took it for granted that since his sister
Doris had been reading it, the book was a very worthwhile book--the kind
he cared nothing about reading himself. This did not interfere with his
utilizing an exposition of its merits as a weapon against Aubrey.
"I was quite surprised," he explained. Doris listened with a frown. She
was certain her brother had not read the book and the knowledge he was
lying aggravated her. She knew he lied continually but was indifferent.
But to have him lie about something she admired, even in its defense,
made her uncomfortable as if he were trying to establish false claims
upon her regard.
"The book is altogether unlike most books," he went on, generalizing
carefully. His mind, totally ignorant of the subject he was discussing,
was shrewdly inventing a book diametrically opposite in style and
content to the books Aubrey wrote. By praising such a book he would
manage without reference to his antagonist to disparage his entire
literary output.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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