A pleasing process--evaporation. Dreams, ambitions, longings--all these
had evaporated slowly and secretively during the twenty-six years,
vanished into thin air. And each had been preoccupied with this process
of evaporation. It had been their real life--the life which diverted
them and which they mutually concealed from each other as they sat
together reading of evenings, or rode in cars or waited in offices or
lay in bed.
Here in this real life were success and beauty and marvelous activities.
Here Basine _père_ planned Herculean enterprise and triumphed with
magnificent gestures, became a leader of finance, of armies; became a
lover of queens and odalisques. Caressing from day to day phantasms
which had no existence, it was in them that he chiefly existed. He
confined himself not only to illusions of grandeur. There were also
little things, charming minor victories which delighted his ego almost
as much as the greater ones. He was able to trick out the minor
victories with the illusion of reality. They were things that might
happen, that one could dream about almost as actually happening. Things
that he fancied people might be saying about him; admissions that he
fancied people might make to him; dreams that he fancied he inspired in
women who passed him and whom he never saw again.
This illusory existence preoccupying Basine had fitted him ideally for
the companionship of orderly, placid-minded folk preoccupied like
himself with similar processes of evaporation. These folk were his
friends with whom he went to the theater, played cards, transacted
business, discussed issues. They were known as normal, practical
persons. The vast, illusory worlds in which they lived during the
greater part of their hours in no way encroached upon the realities of
their day.
They were proud of having a grip on themselves, by which they meant of
being able to allow their energies to evaporate secretively instead of
feeling inspired to harness them to realities and run the risk of being
hoisted body and soul out of their shells into a maelstrom of
uncertainties and hullabaloos. In order to rationalize the disparity
between their actual estates and the fantastic estates of their illusory
lives, they devoted a part of their energies to the practical business
of glorifying their shells. They subscribed with indignation, sometimes
with fanaticism, to all social, spiritual and political ideas which had
for their objective the glorification of their shells. They became
champions of systems of thought and conduct which excused on one hand
and deified on the other their devitalized modes of existence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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