In fact as they grew older they developed a curious egoism which took
the form of a pride in their suppressions. They thought of themselves as
men who had achieved a superior sanity. This sanity lay in being able to
recognize the real from the unreal. The real was their shell. The unreal
consisted of the fantasies produced by the process of evaporation. This
sanity, too, enabled them to regard their imaginings and dreamings with
an amused condescension and to mature into unruffled
effigies--practical, hard-headed business men.
The evaporation, however, influenced them in one vital respect. It
effected what they called their taste in the arts. They desired things
they read or listened to in the theater to be authentic interpretations
not of the realities about them but of the illusions in which they
secretly exhausted themselves. They desired the heroes and heroines of
literature and drama to be like the creatures and excitements of the
soap-bubble worlds bursting conveniently about their hard heads. And so
in their reading and theater going they enjoyed only those things which
afforded a few hours of vicarious reality to the grotesqueries, to the
fairy tale expansions of their departing dreams.
During the last years of his life Basine had experienced the fullest
rewards of a virtuous, practical life. At fifty he had become empty. The
rigmarole of day dreams grew vaguer and finally ceased. He had become
bored with his grandiose and illusory selves. Don Juan, Napoleon,
Croesus, no longer wore the features of Basine. There was no longer any
thrill in idly decorating his tomorrows with kaleidoscopic
make-believes.
There was no great tragedy in this. He was bored with his imagination
because he had run through the repertoire of his fancies too often and
so, slowly, his days grew more and more void of unrealities. Slowly also
he turned to the tangible things around him. He contemplated proudly the
details of his shell. It was a comforting shell. It fitted him snugly.
It consisted of his friends, his home, his children, his borrowed ideas,
his wife.
No outward change was to be noticed in Basine _père_ when this happened.
There was nothing to say that the process of evaporation had ended and
that there was left an animate husk called Howard Basine; a husk that
did not mourn at the knowledge of its emptiness but that accepted
instead with piety and gratitude the presence of other husks, pleased
and warmed to move among their empty companionships.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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