The most curious change her freedom brought Doris was a garrulity that
surprised even herself. She became adept in arguments vindicating the
emancipation of her sex and proving that the ideals and standards by
which women lived were the rose-covered chains forged for their
enslavement by man.
But her garrulity did not deceive Doris. She grew more clearly aware of
herself. She knew that her entire upheaval, her taking up new ideas, her
repudiating conventions had been inspired by a single factor. She wanted
to live alone in a room so there would be no difficulty in giving
herself to Lindstrum when the opportunity came.
With this in mind she had deliberately converted herself into a "new
woman," since an expression of the new womanhood was independence of
family and since independence of family meant a room to herself. Of this
subterfuge Doris became tolerantly aware. Her hypocricies did not
concern her. In her desire for the man she loved the surfaces of her
life disappeared like straws in flame.
Lindstrum had visited her in her new quarters with misgivings. When he
was alone he often sat thinking of her and repeating her ardent phrases.
This helped him to make love to himself, to seduce the strange companion
who lived in the depths of his soul into embracing him. Out of this
embrace came words. Out of the ecstacy these hypnotisms induced, he was
able to create gigantic phrases, mystic sequences of words whose reading
often inspired people with an excitement similar to the emotion that had
produced them. Women in particular grew emotional at the contact of his
written words. When he read his poetry to some of them who were his
friends they closed their eyes and thought he was making love to them.
Lindstrum utilizing the adoration Doris gave him as a means of
self-seduction, remained aware of the danger this offered. The danger
was summed up in the word "marriage." At twenty-six his sexual impulses
found sublimated outlet in the orgies of self-seduction which he called
his creative work. Thus his physical nature clamored for no other mate
than his own genius, and the lure of marriage as a legalized debauch
failed to touch him. His egoism likewise found a more perfect surfeit in
his own self-admiration than in that of others. He saw in marriage
merely a forfeit of his privacy and an intruder upon his self-love.
Doris studying him carefully from behind her abandonment discovered the
barrier.
"I don't want ever to marry," she explained to him. This started talk in
which Lindstrum defended marriage as an institution. He grew eloquent on
the subject that society and civilization were dependent upon marriage
and that a man who sought to dispense with it was merely being
unfaithful to himself as a member of society.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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