"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady — John Shaqi
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So at Lady Sheltons house we met quite a few people who seemed to be
English. I mean some of the girls in London seem to be Ladies which
seems to be the opposite of a Lord. And some who are not Ladies are
honorable. But quite a few are not Ladies or honorable either, but are
just like us, so all you have to call them is “Miss.” So Lady Shelton
was really delighted to have we Americans come to her house. I mean she
took Dorothy and I into the back parlor and tried to sell us some shell
flowers she seems to make out of sea shells for 25 pounds. So we asked
her how much it was in money and it seems it is 125 dollars. I mean I
am really going to have a quite hard time in London with Dorothy
because she really should not say to an English lady what she said. I
mean she should not say to an English lady that in America we use
shells the same way only we put a dry pea under one of them and we call
it a game. But I told Lady Shelton we really did not need any shell
flowers. So Lady Shelton said she knew we Americans loved dogs so she
would love us to meet her mother.
So then she took Dorothy and Major Falcon and I to her mother’s house
which was just around the corner from her house. Because her mother
seems to be called a Countess and raise dogs. So her mother was having
a party too, and she seemed to have quite red hair and quite a lot of
paint for such an elderly lady. So the first thing she asked us was she
asked us if we bought some shell flowers from her daughter. So we told
her no. But she did not seem to act like a Countess of her elderly age
should act. Because she said, “You were right my dears—don’t let my
daughter stick you—they fall apart in less than a week.” So then she
asked us if we would like to buy a dog. I mean I could not stop Dorothy
but she said “How long before the dogs fall apart?” But I do not think
the Countess acted like a Countess ought to act because she laughed
very, very loud and she said that Dorothy was really priceless and she
grabbed Dorothy and kissed her and held her arm around her all the
time. I mean I really think that a Countess should not encouradge
Dorothy or else she is just as unrefined as Dorothy seems to be. But I
told the Countess that we did not need any dog.
So then I met quite a delightful English lady who had a very, very
beautiful diamond tiara in her hand bag because she said that she
thought some Americans would be at the party and it was really a very,
very great bargain. I mean I think a diamond tiara is delightful
because it is a place where I really never thought of wearing diamonds
before, and I thought I had almost one of everything until I saw a
diamond tiara. The English lady who is called Mrs. Weeks said it was in
her family for years but the good thing about diamonds is they always
look new. So I was really very intreeged and I asked her how much it
cost in money and it seems it was $7,500.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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