"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So then I looked around the room and I noticed a gentleman who seemed
to be quite well groomed. So I asked Major Falcon who he was and he
said he was called Sir Francis Beekman and it seems he is very, very
wealthy. So then I asked Major Falcon to give us an introduction to one
another and we met one another and I asked Sir Francis Beekman if he
would hold my hat while I could try on the diamond tiara because I
could wear it backwards with a ribbon, on account of my hair being
hobbed, and I told Sir Francis Beekman that I really thought it looked
quite cute. So he thought it did to, but he seemed to have another
engagement. So the Countess came up to me and she is really very
unrefined because she said to me “Do not waste your time on him”
because she said that whenever Sir Francis Beekman spent a haypenny the
statue of a gentleman called Mr. Nelson took off his hat and bowed. I
mean some people are so unrefined they seem to have unrefined thoughts
about everything.
So I really have my heart set on the diamond tiara and I became quite
worried because Mrs. Weeks said she was going to a delightful party
last night that would be full of delightful Americans and it would be
snaped up. So I was so worried that I gave her 100 dollars and she is
going to hold the diamond tiara for me. Because what is the use of
traveling if you do not take advantadge of oportunities and it really
is quite unusual to get a bargain from an English lady. So last night I
cabled Mr. Eisman and I told Mr. Eisman that he does not seem to how
know much it costs to get educated by traveling and I said I really
would have to have $10,000 and I said I hoped I would not have to
borrow the money from some strange English gentleman, even if he might
be very very good looking. So I really could not sleep all night
because of all of my worrying because if I do not get the money to buy
the diamond tiara it may be a quite hard thing to get back $100 from an
English lady.
So now I must really get dressed as Major Falcon is going to take
Dorothy and I to look at all the sights in London. But I really think
if I do not get the diamond tiara my whole trip to London will be quite
a failure.
April 18th:
Yesterday was quite a day and night. I mean Major Falcon came to take
Dorothy and I to see all the sights in London. So I thought it would be
delightful if we had another gentleman and I made Major Falcon call up
Sir Francis Beekman. I mean I had a cable from Mr. Eisman which told me
he could not send me 10,000 dollars but he would send me 1000 dollars
which really would not be a drop in the bucket for the diamond tiara.
So Sir Francis Beekman said that he could not come but I teased him and
teased him over the telephone so he finally said he would come.
So Major Falcon drives his own car so Dorothy sat with him and I sat
with Sir Francis Beekman but I told him that I was not going to call
him Sir Francis Beekman but I was really going to call him Piggie.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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