Geoffery Gambado : $b or, A simple remedy for hypochondriacism and melancholy splenetic humours — John Shaqi
Geoffery Gambado : $b or, A simple remedy for hypochondriacism and melancholy splenetic humoursCobbold, Richard
General
Geoffery Gambado : $b or, A simple remedy for hypochondriacism and melancholy splenetic humours
Cobbold, Richard
Horsemanship -- England -- Fiction; Humorous stories
"I have no desire to know more of the complaint than you may think right
to tell us; but all who have heard of Doctor Gambado's patients, know
well that they are mostly afflicted with nervous depression. May I ask
if such was your case?"
"Yes, it was."
"You were deranged, sir; were you not?"
Mr. Deuce, with great vehemence, "No more deranged, sir, than you are."
"Do not be angry, sir, when I used the term _deranged_. I meant that
your system was a little deranged, disorganized, or so out of sorts, as
to produce a kind of physical disarrangement of the organs leading to
the brain, so as to create unpleasant sensations, dyspeptic habits,
sleepless nights, and a little of that irritability which we have just
seen, so as to render you a little impulsive, and not unlikely to be
mistaken."
Deuce did not like this at all, but he could not help saying
"It might be so."
"Oh! It might be so! Now, Mr. Deuce, I must put rather a strong question
to you:
"Did you ever accuse Doctor Gambado of being a horse dealer?"
"Not that I am aware of."
"Not that you are aware of! Now, sir, I must get you to tax your memory,
and I ask you plainly, did you not go on purpose to trap Doctor Gambado
into the selling you a horse, that you might bring him into a court of
justice?"
Mr. Deuce paused. He did not reply. He seemed nervous.
"Pray, sir, take your time. You are a member of the law, you know the
law, and the usages of a court of justice; and I am sure you will give
us a plain, straightforward answer."
"I did not go exactly with that intention. My friend, Mr. Ryecross,
persuaded me to consult him about myself."
"Now, sir, I shall cross-examine your friend, Mr. Ryecross. Did you or
did you not, at the very time that you went to consult this eminent
physician, say to your friend, that he, meaning Doctor Gambado, was a
horse dealer, and not a physician?"
"I might have so said."
"Pray, sir, do you understand the law of libel? I shall strongly
recommend my client, let the result of this action be what it may, to
bring an action against you, sir, for one of the grossest acts of
libellous intention this court has ever heard of; and, if I mistake not
the judgement this day will decide, whether a gentleman like yourself is
to utter a libel of a ruinous tendency to so high a professional man,
with impunity.
"Then you did say he was a horse dealer?"
"Yes, I did."
"Pray, sir, had you any previous acquaintance with Doctor Gambado?"
"None whatever."
"Then, I presume you acted in this manner entirely upon hearsay
evidence?"
"I certainly did."
"You had no quarrel with Doctor Gambado?"
"None whatever."
"Was it a sense of justice to your country, that entirely induced you to
try and _smell a rat_ in this gentleman's character?"
"It was."
"And on that account you laid this information against him?"
"I did."
"It was not from any morbid indulgence of any splenetic humour with
which you were at that time afflicted, that induced you to bring this
action?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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