Oh that I were sitting at your feet in your favourite little room, with
the dear children playing around us! If they became troublesome to you,
I would tell them some appalling goblin story; and they would crowd
round me with silent attention. The sun is setting in glory; his last
rays are shining on the snow, which covers the face of the country: the
storm is over, and I must return to my dungeon. Adieu! Is Albert with
you? and what is he to you? God forgive the question.
Feb. 8.
For a week past we have had the most wretched weather: but this to me
is a blessing; for, during my residence here, not a single fine day has
beamed from the heavens but has been lost to me by the intrusion of
somebody. During the severity of rain, sleet, frost, and storm, I
congratulate myself that it cannot be worse in-doors than abroad, nor
worse abroad than it is within doors; and so I become reconciled.
When the sun rises bright in the morning, and promises a glorious
day, I never omit to exclaim, "There, now, they have another blessing
from Heaven, which they will be sure to destroy: they spoil
everything,--health, fame, happiness, amusement; and they do this
generally through folly, ignorance, or imbecility, and always,
according to their own account, with the best intentions!" I could
often beseech them, on my bended knees, to be less resolved upon their
own destruction.
Feb. 17.
I fear that my ambassador and I shall not continue much longer
together. He is really growing past endurance. He transacts his
business in so ridiculous a manner that I am often compelled to
contradict him, and do things my own way; and then, of course, he
thinks them very ill done. He complained of me lately on this account
at court; and the minister gave me a reprimand,--a gentle one, it is
true, but still a reprimand. In consequence of this I was about to
tender my resignation, when I received a letter, to which I submitted
with great respect, on account of the high, noble, and generous spirit
which dictated it. He endeavoured to soothe my excessive sensibility,
paid a tribute to my extreme ideas of duty, of good example, and of
perseverance in business, as the fruit of my youthful ardour,--an
impulse which he did not seek to destroy, but only to moderate, that it
might have proper play and be productive of good. So now I am at rest
for another week, and no longer at variance with myself. Content and
peace of mind are valuable things: I could wish, my dear friend, that
these precious jewels were less transitory.
Feb. 20.
God bless you, my dear friends, and may he grant you that happiness
which he denies to me!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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