Student:—“Have you heard the latest news? Mischler’s brewery has burned down!” Innkeeper:—“How was that possible, with so much material on hand to quench fire?” Student:—“I can easily explain that. When the flames began to lick the beer, they found they liked it.” Twice Fetched Student (coming home in the evening):—“Has my overcoat been fetched, Frau Muller?” Landlady:—“Oh yes; twice.” Student:—“How is that?” Landlady:—“Well, you see, first I fetched it from the tailor, and afterwards the sheriff fetched it from your room.” The Tell-tale Ticket The end of the term has arrived. Freshman Muller has managed, by coaxing all his uncles and aunts, to scrape enough capital together, to rescue his dress suit and overcoat from the pawnshop and is now on his way home. The following morning, when the first joy of having him at home again has subsided, his mother begins to look over his clothes. She finds in his overcoat the ominous pawnshop number, and sending for her son, she asks sharply: “What does this number mean?” “Why, at the last University ball I left the coat in the dressing-room, and I suppose they stuck the number on.” Only half satisfied with this explanation, his mother dismisses him, but soon after sends for him once more. “Now then, I wish to know if you left your trousers also in the dressing-room at that last ball?” Wonderful Knowledge Professor:—“What causes the Northern Light?” Student (embarrassed):—“I did know it perfectly well, but have forgotten it again.” Professor:—“What an enormous loss for science! You are the only human being who knew it once, and you had to forget it!” Coffee Not Education Porter (to a lot of students who at an early morning hour, noisily demand admission into a closed café):—“Gentlemen, you want to have education?” Students:—“No, coffee!” An Apt Retort Professor (very angry):—“You are the biggest fool here!” Student (excited):—“Sir! You are forgetting yourself.” The Other Side “Is this the famous Kohlenberg?” asked a stranger of a student whom he met while ascending it. “Yes, sir, very famous and very interesting.” “Would you have the kindness to tell me,” said the stranger, “whether there are any legends or other dreadful tales associated with this mountain?” “A whole lot, sir, only recently two young men went up on this side and never came back.” “Horrible! What became of them?” “Why, they went down on the other side.” His Occasional Look In the waiting-room of a small railway station, a crowd of noisy young fellows were making fun of a student, who was walking impatiently up and down, but stopped from time to time to look into the mirror. At last the noisiest of the crowd called out: “Say, are you in love with yourself, that you look into that glass so often?” “I only want a look at a gentleman now and then,” was the student’s calm reply. The Fifth Drink