An Eskimo family was being exhibited at the zoölogical gardens. The young wife of an Army officer who had taken her there, asked them, “How do you like it in Berlin?” and as the Eskimos kept silent, not understanding her, the talkative little woman went on, “Don’t you think it’s nicer here, than in Eskimo?” A New Composer Lady:—“Dear Emilie, by whom is this magnificent piece, that is being played?” Emilie:—“I think it is by ‘Da Capo,’ an Italian composer, who has written a great many pieces.” Eels by the Yard Young Housewife (helping the cook prepare the menu for a dinner-party):—“As second course, we will have baked eel.” Cook:—“How much shall I order, my lady?” Young housewife:—“I think ten yards ought to be enough.” A Hint “Say, papa, when I am a papa, I’ll make Liesel roast a goose for me, too; but I shall give my little boy some of it.” A Young Lady’s Diary on an Ocean Steamer First Day. Stormy weather; poor company. Second Day. Captain very amiable; offers me his heart and hand. Refused. Third Day. Captain renews his offer. Threatens to kill us both and to blow up the vessel with three hundred souls on board. Refused. Fourth Day. Saved three hundred lives. Toast to Women “The ladies lessen our sorrows, double our joys, and treble our expenses. Long may they live!” A Precaution “Auntie, do you like chocolates?” “Oh yes, little one, I love them!” “Ah! Then I had better ask grandmamma to take care of my box of bonbons.” A Novice in Gardening Husband:—“Just think, little wife, I saw the first asparagus in the garden. Would it give you pleasure to cut it yourself?” Young Housewife (trying to hide her ignorance in this direction):—“I tell you what, Adolf; we’ll go together. You pick it off, while I hold the ladder.” Poor Memory Servant:—“Will you please tell me, madam, where you buy your sausages?” Mistress:—“On Humboldt Street.” Servant:—“I am afraid I can’t remember that.” Mistress:—“Just think of the Kosmos.” A Different Meaning Bride:—“What is the name of that beautiful star over there?” Bridegroom:—“That is Venus.” Bride:—“What does it mean?” Bridegroom:—“The happiness of love!” Twenty Years Later Wife:—“What is the name of that beautiful star over there?” Husband:—“It’s the evening star; don’t know the name of it.” Wife:—“Do you know what it means?” Husband:—“That it is getting night.” Hard on Him A flirt is a rose, of whom each plucks a leaf; the thorns remain for the future husband. Her Idea of Rome Gentleman:—“You were some time in Italy, Baroness; how did you like Rome?” Baroness:—“Rome? Just wait a moment! (To her daughter.) Emma, was it not at Rome where we bought those poor gloves?” Misunderstood Baroness (returning home):—“Maria, I cannot suffer you to take your sweetheart into the kitchen!” Cook:—“Your ladyship is very kind, but my sweetheart would not go into the salon!” Not Men Pleasers