Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a SatireJenkins, Edward
General
Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a Satire
Jenkins, Edward
Christian sects -- Fiction; Education -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Satire, English
The treatment to which the little saint was subjected soured his temper.
His kind nurses had choked him twice a day with incense, and now he had
inhaled for seven hours the air of the Queen's Bench. On his return to
the convent he was hastily fed, and carried to the chapel to give thanks
for the victory of the day. Wrapped in a handsome chasuble, they laid
him on the steps of the altar. In the most solemn part of the service
he coughed, and grew sick. The chasuble was bespattered. When the
officiating priest, to save that garment, took the child in his arms, he
nefariously polluted the sacerdotal vestments and the altar steps. Then
he kicked toward the altar itself, roared lustily, and finally went
into convulsions in Sister Suspiciosa's arms. Like most women, the Lady
Superior required her enthusiasm to be fed with success. She began
to think that she had been cozened: Ginx's Baby was too evidently a
spiritual miscarriage. He must, like the rest of his family, be, indeed,
“Protestant to the backbone.” Father Certificatus agreed with her. His
robes and best chasuble were befouled.
“Let us not risk a repetition of this conduct,” said he; “let the child
be given up. He is baptized, and cannot be severed from the Church. He
will return after many days.”
Next morning the solicitors of the Protestant Detectoral Association
received a letter from their opponents. In this they said
that--presuming Messrs. Roundhead, Roundhead, and Lollard, intended to
apply to the Master of the Rolls, the authorities of the convent had
decided, after having vindicated themselves in the Queen's Bench, to
give up the child, which would be, for twenty-four hours, at the order
and disposal of the Association, and afterwards of his parents. “We are
instructed by our clients,” they added, “to ask you to bear in mind that
the child has been admitted, and is a member of the Catholic Church,
owing allegiance to the Holy Father at Rome, a bond from which only the
Papal excommunication can absolve him.”
VIII.--“See how these Christians love one another.”
A mass-meeting of Protestants had been summoned for three o'clock on the
day designated in the letter of the Papist attorneys, to be held in the
Philopragmon Hall. That was the favorite centre of countless movements,
both well-meant and well-executed, and of others as futile as they were
foolish. Yet one could not say that a larger proportion of the latter
were connected with the Hall than existed in as many other human
enterprises of any sort. The concession of the Romanists at first dashed
the managers of the demonstration. Their grievance was gone. Still there
remained topics for a meeting: they would rejoice over victory, and
consult about the future of the Protestant Baby.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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